i asked a man once
"what is a woman?"
he said:
~
"women are vessels,
like ships in the north sea,
and men are the waves.
.
women are weak,
like the old, rusted bench,
at your local park.
.
women are the cattle,
in the large meadows,
getting chased by wolves.
.
women create life."
~
but how could i be a vessel,
in your oceans,
without drowning?
.
how could i be weak,
like the playground bench,
when i am tenacious?
.
how could i be cattle,
in the open meadows,
if i am the sheep?
.
how could i bear a child,
in this cruel world,
if i can’t even bear myself?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,754 Reviews
Hello, the dead came back to the living.
When I saw the title of this poe, I was slightly worried that it would become controversial like a specific documentary with the same name, and I was glad to be proven wrong.
I enjoyed the contrasting images between the man's response and the woman's retaliation to the mansplaining, which was quite important! I also noted that the woman also respects the duality of "his roles" but also her importance. Like a boat that must sail the Northern Seas, men are the waves, but the women carry the people to safety as the waters churn. I personally interpreted it like this, so you don't have to agree with me
However, I will admit that I was not able to find the contrast of both response and correlate with them all, but it was still an amazing poem to read! I, a man, believe it is important that everyone should attempt to understand others, imagining to be in their shoes. I may not have the experience of how a female would strive in this world, but the appreciation of their existence has amplified by reading this.
I hope you have a good day!
Hello, there! Avi speaking
First, your imagery of misogyny is incredible, and my blood boiled upon reading the words of the man in this poem because this is how most men have seen women for so long. This poem infused me with that depressing power women must have not just to survive but to live and thrive.
Second, my favorite example of women that you wrote as the man speaking was
"women are vessels,
like ships in the north sea,
and men are the waves"
Third, my favorite stanza in this whole poem would be
"how could i bear a child,
in this cruel world,
if i can’t even bear myself?"
if only just for the reality and reliability it holds.
My only qualm would be a question; how is the woman figure in this poem more like the sheep than the cattle? (Though this might just be me being slow and not getting the metaphor, in which case, I apologize for my fuzzy brain.)
Incredible poem <3
Hi, Ley! It's Serrurie, here to leave a review! Let's dive in:
The Good Stuff
- Ooh, this is a prose-type poem! I always love those
- I love the art you put at the beginning, which connects to a woman being a 'vessel' in the man's eyes.
- The man's answer shows bias while also being beautiful and poetic. Instead of simply saying what he thinks a woman is he paints a picture that allows the woman to infer.
- Adding on to what I just said, the woman's counterarguments show layers and depth to her perception of herself. She questions the man's definitions while at the same time, defining herself (whether her answer is positive or negative). Some of what she says bounces off of her own words, because she shows herself as weak AND strong:
- The grammar you use in this is unique. I like how it's aligned to the right instead of the left, how everything is italicized, and how you show pauses in their speech or the poem itself. I feel like everything from the writing to how you formatted it shows the forebearing, dark, and elegant nature of this poem.
Room For Improvement
- You have absolutely nothing to improve with this. I often see a lot of the same, negative poems about broken hearts and the questions of life. But this poem, despite being dark, shows and holds a different atmosphere than other things I've read. It doesn't question the struggles of life, it questions what you ARE in this life, what defines you, and who defines you. This is beautiful, and I find it to be quite the diamond in the rust. You really have a talent with words.
Happy writing, and have a blessed day!
Serrurie
Just want to say this is soo good.
In the modern day world, there are so many unrealistic expectations for women in life, just existing and living the same as everyone else and yet men sometimes demand such ridiculous things. Cookie cutter perfect shapes are expected, but what happens if we don't fit?
It's such an interesting and slightly retrospective look into feminism and misogyny, and the style you portrayed it in was quite beautiful, rhetorical questions, rephrasing, the poetry sort of line breaks. It really helps emphasize the whole situation. Love your comparisons as well, this is actually incredible!
All the best,
DevilBeMyDarling
Thank you! I normally don't write poetry, so I'm glad you enjoyed!
Hiii There Leya! Cupid here, thought I'd hop on this train of thought and give you a short review!
So for me I really love the idea you posed by challenges the stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding women and you portrayed it so beautifully and powerful, Especially the imagery used, such as ships, benches, etc effectively contrast the views of the man.
I also love how you highlights the strength and resilience of women, questioning the limitations imposed by society. And the repetition of the phrase "how could I" is just WOWW! It really adds and creates a strong sense of self-reflection and defiance. Overall, Leya you did such a wonderful job writing this!! (Now if only you could get my brother to read this :,D)
Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed reviewing!
Fly high writer, Cupid.
heyy! that's a great poem! I like the picture too, did you paint that?
No, I didn't! I wish I was that talented
xD
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
I decided that I wanted to leave a full review on this piece. I thought it was incredible beautiful to read and think it deserves more than a little comment, hehe. Let's get right into it!!
Hey friend, Ellie here
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
Let's begin with my impression and interpretation. It begins with a man being asked the question "what is a woman" to which he replies in ways that are quite stereotypical. Women are vessels in the sea, while men are the waves that move and control them. Women are weak and fragile and imperfect and in a broken condition. As if they are lesser versions of men. Women are these cattle being chased by wolves, showing they are the weaker link that is controlled by men, incapable of making their own decisions. And it mentions women as being creators of life, which I interpret as meaning that this is their sole responsibility over their career and passion and opportunity that they could achieve in the world.
The second part of the poem is the writers, or maybe your, response.
this seems to rephrase the mans response. How can I be controlled by you and be engulfed in your dominance, and still remain who I am. How can I exist without being changed by YOU. Instead of focussing on men being waves, this focusses on His Ocean. Like they say, it is a mans world.
How do you see me as weak, when I am enduring the misery you cause me. How can I be seen an incomplete and flawwed when your hatred is what makes me strong? I may have been burned through a fire, but you only see my scars, not my strength.
how can you see me as someone who needs to be herded and chased and eaten, when I am the one worthy of being found. I thought of Jesus leaving the 99 to find the one lost sheep. Its like this part of the poem is saying, you dont see me for who I really am. If you looked for a moment, maybe you would see my potential and my worth.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
The only specific thing I want to mention is with the formatting. First of all- it is amazing. I love the image that you included at the top. I noticed all paragraphs had three lines exept for the fourth one.
Was this done for a certain reason or to make a statement? Maybe consider ending th epoem with asingle line as well to balance it, if you are making a statement. Or add more description, unless you were trying to show the lack of the mans explanation and statement, showing the deepness of the stereotypes.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Here are my praises. This was lovely! I loved the layout and how you had a response for each of the man's statements. Overall, my favourite paragraph was the last one.
that is such a great closing statement. so beautiful
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Thank you for writing this masterpiece! I look forward to reading more of your works.
Have a lovely day! Merry Christmas!
Take care,
Ellie-Mae
Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words :3
Beautiful poem!! <33
Thank you love!
I like this a lot! It's so thought provoking and awesome!
Thank you so much!