This is Nikayla here for a review!
Apologies that I'm so late to the party, but I'm here now. I finally made it past the first chapter! I love that the chapters are divided into different parts and have so many details within those parts, though something that I've been wondering is how it would look in actual novel form. Would you just let it alone and let the chapter keep flowing without saying "Chapter 2.1" or instead would you actually put something of that sort? I know that I've been sort of reviewing them as chapters in themselves, but I'd like to know that, I guess.
In this chapter, we see that there's a new POV! And that's Evan. As far as I remember, we haven't encountered this character before, or this is our first sight and impression of them, but they could have been mentioned earlier in the story and I'm just forgetting. You definitely do a good job differentiating her voice compared to the others in the story, particularly Lilli. The first paragraph does feel a little awkward, and I think that's how it's worded. "god**** anywhere" in the last line is particularly what I'm talking about.
There are a lot of questions that we have about Evan, especially since she was just introduced into the story, and you do a good job at filling them throughout the chapter so that we're wondering about things like 'Why would her father want to kill her?' and other things of that sort. I already read the response you sent to Lauren, or at least some of it, so now I know that Cate is Evan's aunt! I've been sort of assuming that Evan knows more about Moths and the Agents than Lilli, since it sort of seems like she was raised on it? It could be the opposite and she could be in the same position as Lilli, but I still assume that they're both around the same age or that Evan is a little bit older. That's about the most I read because I don't want the mystery to be ruined for me, because I get awfully excited when I go into a new chapter.
We see later on in the chapter that Evan is sort of playing around with metal and different materials, trying to make it into a disk form. I'm sort of wondering if this is the sort of magic we're going to see throughout the story at this point, or at least some of it? It seems that changing metals or materials into something else is what Evan is doing at this point, but I'm not quite sure yet. More specifically, there are a lot of mentions of heat which may also be involved with this sort of magic or whatever Evan's using, but at this point it's a little blurry. Evan can also, run through walls. We see that in some way, Evan and Cate both work together?
Now that it's been revealed that Cate is Evan's daughter, I'm wondering if this has to do with the whole family being involved with this sort of thing, or if it's just them. Near the end of the chapter, you use 'the anarchists', which I'm not sure if Evan is referring to the antagonists of the story or what, because the 'a' isn't capitalized and that's usually used to signify that it's something important. It could also not be important and I'm just digging too deep into things. Who knows. This makes for quite an interesting chapter and adds more mystery to the novel as well as giving us a bit more answers to our questions.
I hope I helped and have a great day! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
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