model me this

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.

So, the first thing i noticed is that a bunch of places are missing commas and things alike. It may not be you style but I will list them. Plus, I would LOVE to beat the werewolves! So, to start this off, "in the lens", "beyond reach" and "a pose". Otherwise the whole thing flowed really well and my favorite line would have to be "to catch their tears" I don't have a real reason but it just... I dunno.

Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that some one you known is in pain. You know this and you want to help. You ask them to just look at you, to tell you what is plaguing them so. You hold them and comfort them while wiping away their tears and comforting them. You look at them like they are you world and that thee is nothing else there to ruin the moment.

Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

'Ello, it's Cello! Here for a short review over a short piece!

This was a wonderful poem but I especially enjoyed the first stanza.
I'm a mess when it comes to putting praise into words so let me just say this. Something about your language, the way you worded things, was absolutely perfect. It had an almost 'cute' sense to it but still had a very calm, almost melancholy tone to it. The images in my mind (That I saw when reading this) were so detailed, so perfect I just can't describe it.

Honestly, there's only one suggestion I have (And it's a complete matter of opinion)

-turn an inch, please

tilt your palms

toward the clouds

to catch their tears

Hi there Holysocks. I just dropped by to give you a quick review. Perhaps a bit of advice and a few comments.
-Let's start out by saying I really liked your poem. I was unsure of this decision until I read it through a few times.
-I usually do not review works of such short lengths because there is so little to work with. I would have preferred if it was a bit longer. It would also help to clarify your ideas. In the description you say you were playing around with words. A few more lines would make this piece so much better.
- I also had to review your poem a few times to figure out the title and subject. You may want to make it clearer. I think by "model me this" you are referring to a human model. If not please correct me.
- It has a very mysterious feeling to it and if that is the mood you were going for great job. If not consider revising.

That's all for now. Keep on writing.
-lizzybookclubqueen1

Hello there, Holysocks! I haven't reviewed anything on the site for a really long time so I'm a little rusty so bare with me while I ramble.

I seen in your description of those poem that you said you were 'playing around with words' so to speak. It actually shows. There isn't any real flow or clear image which really works well for you. It's something you'd think would be done much more with poem but yours in one of the very few I have came across in my time with this site.

One of the great things about this poem is how almost vague it is. While it's easy to gather some information of this poem a lot of it seems to just be up to the reader to decided. Which is something I love. Having this mysterious vibe around a poem really helps to add a connection to a reader and an author. This a bond which you have captured so well in your piece.

Assuming you meant to go for that kind of vibe. If you didn't then I hope I haven't offended you.

I do have some nitpicks about this piece, however. The first being its length, I really was left wanting more which can be seen as a good thing. I would've loved to have seen a few more lines. I feel as if it would give your piece a little more meat to it. I also take a small issue with the punctuation, or more lack there of. I know many people don't mind a lack of punctuation in poetry but what annoys me is that you used it some times but not others. It was just a little bit distracted but nothing which got in the way of how lovely this piece is.

All in all, I thought this was a nice piece. I really enjoyed my time with it.