don't never hurt Me

That was pretty awesome!
You have written this poem in two contrary narratives!

Don't stay.

Never walk away.

That is a double-faced view of a single person!
Brilliant!

First thing that came to mind when I read the title: Double negative

*gasp* its a double negative

this is so strong somehow. good job, i like it

First of all, good job on the title I can clearly see how it matches the pattern of your poem. I like the concept of yes-and-no in this piece. It's very relatable.


"Don't let your hot breath burn my skin.

Never stop breathing my name."


"Don't accept the anxiety.

Never drown in my tears."


I freaking love these. <3 So so much.


As for critiquing, nothing much except for some minor technical and semantic aspects I would like to point out.

Idk if the arrangement of your poem is intentional, but I think it'd be more reader-friendly if you had separated the phrases in stanzas. I don't know how to work the "space" column in my poems so I usually just separate them with a full stop.

Like
Like
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This
This



"Don't freeze my back with your cool touch." Would you mind explaining this line further? I'm interested to know....couldn't quite picture this from an emotional perspective.

"Don't break me with your words.
Never let me speak."

Once again, I'm lost. I don't understand the rationale of the second line. Could you explain further?


All in all, I love this piece. It's sweet to read. And it ended with an elegant bang, if you will I like the last four lines, I think that they add a touch of simple, straight forward sophistication to this poem. GOOD JOB.

When i first saw the title i got puzzled and was like "Kid, you definitely need to improve your grammar!" XD Hahaha, never mind! Now i know, what this is all about!

It's a fantastic, nice concept. like some stuffs you don't want but again want!! It often happens with me. i just don't know what i want and what not. and, even if i want, i'm just scared to ask for it. O_o

"Don't accept the anxiety.

Never drown in my tears.

Don't let me love you.

Never disappear.

Don't stay.

Never walk away."

Wonderful lines! ^^ And most cool are- "Don't stay. Never walk away."

Very nice dear. Good work. Keep it up

Stay fine and in fun! Best of luck.

~Min

Okay at first i did not understand the title but know i think i get it. It's you saying what you don't want but do want and how you are battling with your self. you have some interesting word play it seems a bit short but it has a lot of emotion. maybe you should add some events to explain how and why or something like that.
Lines i liked!!!!

Don't let me love you.

Never disappear.

Don't stay.

Never walk away.

These lines really convey the struggle. haha Over all great job!!

Really strong feelings from Pen, because I relate to this poem very easily. I understand what the narrator is trying to say, and it can be frustrating. I really think that the narrator is confused about what he/she wants from their partner, and so it makes the poem have a more deeper meaning, like the narrator is trying to figure themselves out, and with that, they're pulling the other person closer, while also pushing them away.

It's easy for anyone with a relationship to relate to some of the things that the narrator says, and I think that it could be a list of things that women hate for their men to do in a relationship. If you catch the underlying humor there, great. If not, then don't get offended.

Anyways, I think it's safe to say that the narrator is either a woman, bipolar, or both.

Good job, ~Pen

This is amazing


It's a beautiful writing, I like that you put violent things where sweet things should be, but aren't obviously.

I also love the ending " Never disappear. Don't stay. Never walk away" what I'm picking up from that is that the character or you, love someone and you never want them to go but at the same time, you want this person to go away, then your back to wanting the person to stay, which I think is really cool. ~a The Written Girl