Time Travellers- the lot of us

Very interesting perspective on time. I like how unlike other poets you don't discard the idea of time as an existing concept, as most opt for the "time does not exist" route. Also loved that you didn't use any sort of positive or negative vocabulary in the last line, not necessarily meaning that what the future holds is pleasant, but presenting it more as an inevitability which non of us can truly avoid. Great write.

Heyo! I really loved this poem! I didn't find anything wrong with it, really, and I loved your word choices. The poem was very reflecting, and I loved how you portrayed it as time travelling (because when you think of it, it really is). Anyways, that's it; Just wanted to let you know that I think that it's great.

Time to review!
This poem is quite thought provoking, it made me reflect on my mortality, the short nature of life, and the notion of identity.

The way it compares aging to time travel on it's own isn't very original, but when you bring up identity (when you called your past self "that boy") it adds another layer of complexity and another entire branch of thought to contemplate. Making me ask myself if my seven year old me is the same person as today. The philosophy of identity is a fascinating one for sure.

Some diction nitpicks:

Propelling- seems a strange word choice, it doesn't really seem to fit.

Cringe- while this one makes sense, it has become pretty overused on the Internet and I feel a more complex description of that cringing would sound better.

Finally just a point about writing in the second person, I feel it would be better to use gender neutral terms like "child" so the second person perspective isn't lost on anyone.

Overall good poem with good themes and proposing the right questions to the reader.

Hey Holyrocks!

I love me some time travel work, poetry or prose. I like the direction you're taking this, it feels smooth and well considered. There are some things I want to talk about but for the main part I feel that this is a really peaceful poem, it doesn't necessarily end happily but I think it's steady and kind of warm.

Firstly, I'd like to ask about punctuation. You're punctuating the ends of lines but choose not to have a comma after "machine" in the second line or after "travellers" in the first. One comma in either of those places would fix the slightly awkward reading I keep having as I interact with your first lines. You also have some interesting line breaks. Is there a reason for breaking after "and"? It's not something I'd usually suggest because it breaks your line awkwardly and makes the reading of it a little disjointed. If you want us to be slightly off kilter in that section though, it definitely works and you should keep it.

The next thing is that while I feel this is a nice peaceful poem, I don't feel a lot of what's being said. There is, for me, a lack of emotional engagement. This might be because I'm not a time traveller but I think it's more because we only get one strong instance of the time travel? and I feel like if we had one or two more expanded images of travel we might be a little more engaged by what you have. I think what might help is having "that" in "that boy" emphasised a little, to give it a bit more impact. Currently, because of that line break above it reads as a slightly awkward statement that feels broken. Giving "that" some significance would fix that and add some personality to your poem. You also need to reconsider using "time" thrice so close to each other earlier on in the poem.

this makes it sound like I don't like it. I do, but at the moment I think it's 'just nice' without having the impact I know you could bring to this. If instead you were looking for a poem people will enjoy and feel good reading, you've definitely done that. I get such a sense of security from this poem, maybe because it's late but also maybe because there's a heavy sense of strength in what you've written that works well.

Thanks for posting, Holyrocks.
- <3