The Back Of Your Eyelids - Chapter Two

The next day, Abraham sat at the kitchen table, twirling the pencil between his fingers.

“I told you I don’t get it.”

Reese sighed, trying to keep his patience. “Have you even read the textbook?”

Abraham nodded, pulling the sleeves of his Christmas sweater down past his fingers. “That didn’t make sense either.”

Reese squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. “I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette. Try to solve that problem.” With another sigh, he excused himself to the front porch.

Abraham looked at Cole, who stood by the counter in his usual black tank top and nylon shorts. The latter grinned, showing off his rotten teeth.

“Told you that math shit don’t matter.”

“Uncle Reese says I need to do it.” Abraham stood to get himself more tea. Cole grabbed his ass, squeezing. Abraham tensed. Cole grinned, rubbing his palm in a circle.

“What’s the point of math, bro? All you need is Us.”

“All I need is your hand off my ass.”

“Don’t get that tone.” Cole’s harsh tone softened. “Baby,”

Abraham turned, only to find an empty kitchen. With a sigh, he carried his mug over to the table and sat, staring down at the notebook. None of it made sense. None of life made sense.

He stood abruptly. The mug overturned, spilling tea across the table and soaking every page. He didn’t seem to notice, fleeing the room as he panted for breath. His fingers fumbled for the back door’s doorknob and he yanked it open, slamming it shut behind him before collapsing with his back against it. He slid down, hand covering his face as he tried to stifle his sob. He pulled his hair, panic gripping him and crawling at his skin. His chest grew tight, his head grew dizzy. Vision blurring, he closed his eyes, visibly shaking. He tried to calm himself, hiccuping. He wiped his eyes, watching the little clumps of hair fall from his fingers.

“Abe? Abraham.” He could hear Reese from the kitchen, cursing softly at the tea. “Abraham.”

Abraham said nothing, stifling another hiccup. He heard the wood door open and a tap on the screen one. He looked up, and sat up far enough for Reese to come out.

“What the fuck, bro?”

Abraham didn’t say anything, not meeting his caretaker’s eyes.

“Abraham.” Reese sat across from him, voice gentle. “What’s wrong?”

“I just kinda lost my shit.” Abe pulled his knees to his chest, recoiling from Reese’s touch. Reese scooted closer anyway, but making sure not to make any skin-on-sweater contact.

“I’m sorry I got frustrated. If you don’t want to do the math problems, don’t worry about it.”

“I miss my dad.”

Reese stiffened, looking down at him, and saw a boy. A boy, broken and hated by his peers because he was different. A boy, usually so defensive, now vulnerable and claiming to miss the man he swore he hated.

“You miss him?”

Abraham nodded. “I dunno. Math just reminds me of him. Makes me feel stupid, not being able to get it.” He was silent for a long moment. “The other people hate me, don’t they?”

Reese considered the question carefully. “They don’t get you.”

“Because I’m weird.”

“Because you’re different. They don’t understand that.”

Silence enveloped them again. Slowly, Abraham stood, leaving Reese alone on the porch as he retreated back to his room.

Cole was waiting on the bed. “You look like you’ve been crying. Pansy,” he grinned, taking a draw off his cigarette.

Abraham sat beside him, not bothering to protest when Cole’s hand snuck down his back. He sat his chin on his knees.

“Don’t be a fucking wimp.” Cole hissed, biting Abraham’s ear. Abe winced, hiccuping. “Man up.”

Standing, Abraham crossed to the record player, putting in an opera record and letting it play. Cole grimaced and grabbed him by the wrist, shoving Abe onto the bed.

“Touch yourself.”

“I’m not in the mood.”

“Did I fucking stutter? Besides, you’re always horny. Aren’t you?” Cole grinned. The room grew tense. Cole always got what he wanted.

After only a moment, Abe caved, and lay there a little way later with his pants shoved to his knees, out of breath. Cole was gone, having faded a while ago. Abraham closed his eyes, letting the tears run down his cheeks.