Don't ever say never.
Hope is forever.
Let the river sweep past,
all wide and vast,
in the morning sun,
rising on a reprieve
and misery dies
on a new beginning,
of a new day.
A new chance
to prove ourselves,
in the eyes of our peers,
that just because we are different,
doesn't mean we aren't right.
That we can't shine just as bright.
In the new morning sun.
Rising
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
And to think this poem started out as a doodle in my notebook.
Simple and beautiful. A poem worth being written.
I love your writing style.
Deanie x
This poem seems to be fitting for this week, I think.
) It's such a true and simple line. It is hard to be the odd one out but we have to be brave enough to stand up.
With all that's happening in the news and seeing just what's been going on in our world. ( Seriously, I don't care how talented Amy Winehouse was, that fact that she destroyed herself - something we all saw coming- should not be front page over what happened in Norway. it just shows what our society really deems important) We need a standard. I glimmer of hope, that something better is coming and that we are that hope.
I really like the line about " just because we are different doesn't mean we're not right' ( umm.. that's not a direct quote
Anyway I really liked the poem. I'm not a poet so I'm impressed that you were able to keep the tone and your intent as well as use rhyming couplettes.
I like how simple the poem is too. Some people tend to think that quantity is equal to quality so you have a giant 60 line poem that could have been conveyed in a 6 line poem.
Keep on writing, and let me know when you post more.
Hello, again! So, this has a similar tone to the previous poem.
But you know what makes it different?
The imagery.
Before, you worked with a snake bite, and here you're working with the sun. Again, I have two pieces of advice.
First, be very careful when working with rhyme. I feel like I say this to everyone, but if you use rhyme it sometimes steers you away from what you actually wanted to say. Be VERY careful that you're not choosing words that rhyme just because they rhyme, but because they're the first words you'd want to use. You don't want to leave out the perfect word just because it doesn't rhyme, do you? Nothing else could take its place!
Second, go deeper. You have the emotions and the drive to write poetry, and now explore everything it has to give. What is a sun? What colors does the sun evoke? What does it do? Think about how it burns, warms, chills, blinds, any verb you can think of and how it might be relevant. Build an arsenal of imagery and ideas of the sun so that you can rifle through them and decide which will best help your audience get close to your meaning. Where is the sun? Is it sending away a fog or has it always been there? Clouds shade it? Trees shade it? What blocks you from the sun? What brings you back to the sun? There is so much in the sun. Legends surrounding it, even. THERE ARE SO MANY POSSIBILITIES. Haha, you're making me excited about poetry. There's just so much you can do, and I want you to experiment with it, so you get better and better!
Keep going!
Let me know if you have questions.
Hannah
Don't ever say never.
Hope is forever.
Let the river sweep past,
all wide and vast,
in the morning sun,
rising on a reprieve
and misery dies
on a new beginning,
of a new day.
A new chance
to prove ourselves,
in the eyes of our peers,
that just because we are different,
doesn't mean we aren't right.
That we can't shine just as bright.
In the new morning sun.
Rising
THE ONLY PROBLEM sorry caps, the only problem with this amazing poem is it doesnt flow, i dont like the way it just goes on without flow.
but other than that it is well AMAZING i love it nice work
THIS IS GOOD
Thanks. I've been wanting to write a poem like this for a while now and I feel this really captured what I wanted to express.
This is an excellent piece! I love the flow of the writing, and also the message. I can't really think of anything to criticize, so congratulations on a job well done!
Oh my gosh you guys really think so? Thanks!! I'll make sure to keep writing poems. Is it possible to list friends on here? Cause I know I'm going to make a bunch
I just love the simplicity of the last line. Overall you have quite a gem for a poem. I love tha flow of the piece, and how not every line rhymes. This is very unique indeed. You have made this a continous piece, where I cannot seem to pause. It flows as one thing, not just a series of lines. It has an importnt message to it. I can't wait to see where you go with this.
Hmmm, this is actually pretty good, especially with the message you portrayed. Good job. Continue to explore new words and welcome to YWS!!