It's a little hard to sit down and write this because I'm only thirteen and only understand things to a certain extent. My mind is still a jumbled mess of emotional extractions that will eventually route me to a place I’ll end up in a few years. I’ll grow up and there are many ups and downs to my lifetime but I’ll run into those moments where something hits me hard and I’ll pause for a moment. I watched a video that really stood out to me and afterward, it had me thinking. That’s why I’m writing this.
I’m first going to start off by saying that no matter how beautiful an exterior is, you never know the internal “body” of something. It could be dark and gloomy like a rainy days’ night sky or it could be just as beautiful as the exterior. Regardless, both sides can be special in their own twisted way. Pushing that aside, you can’t ignore the fact that that dark, gloomy side has it’s downfalls that can lead to horrid things many humans refuse to recognize or that they even despise. These people, like you and I, are so hidden away and due to others despising it, they refuse to come out of their shell to show true potential. This can happen with anyone and there are many problems a human being will face whether it’s with themselves or with someone else (perhaps even something else). However, not all problems have solutions.
Life has certain “tests” for you to see what you’re capable of handling, and sometimes it puts you to a very harsh test. Some people need something. Just something. A physical or existing thing that they can hold (sometimes literally) onto because when they have nothing it’s like they are nothing. They sink into the oblivion of existence and soon become so invisible that one day they don’t even exist anymore. You try to find this physical concept or item that you need to stay alive and when you don’t have that, you lose yourself and suddenly you aren’t the person you want to be. You’re sheltered away before you can try to save yourself because everything just becomes a blur and everyone around you thinks there’s something wrong. You can hear that voice...that small, whispering voice in the back of your mind telling you you’re still alive; that you’re still something. However, you know there is something wrong but you don’t reach out and that’s when you just fall apart and it can become too late. Everyone needs that something. It’s just the path to finding that that may be rough. When you find that something, you see yourself in that “art” you created and it brings something to life again for you. That’s why I feel certain things in your life help you. It’s a certain therapy no other person but yourself can even begin to offer. For example, when you're depressed. It’s like you can't be completed; you expect your life to bounce back so you can change it all over again but you can't. When you try to fight, you begin to hide because you feel like no one will be there at all. That's the worst feeling to discover. To actually keep moving forward and get up to walk out the door just to find that nobody is there. It’s a feeling that tears you apart. One that you can’t forget. It becomes a routine to place this “mask” on your face and at the end of the day take it off just so you can barely make it through the day.
As children while we grow up, we’re taught to be nice to everyone. It’s kind of a cliche thing now, but if you think about it, it means more than just be nice. They always told us that we needed to keep our hands to ourselves, be nice to everyone, don’t say hurtful things, and most of all? Be yourself. Never be someone you’re not because that’s when something is wrong. Hiding away the pain and fighting it yourself can be bad sometimes and that’s when you feel the burning feeling of sorrow within. That’s when you have to find that something that keeps you whole. That something that you create to see yourself shine in.
There’s a certain routine to everyday life. You fold them same clothes every day and wash the same dishes. It only ends when you find someone else to do it. When you buy new clothes it's still the same. Same routine different person, different person same routine. You can't change the routine because there is no difference. You can only change the person. People can be changed, but things will always remain the same no matter how you manipulate them. An ice cube is still water when it's frozen, just in a different state. But me as a person two years ago and me as a person now are two completely different people. A routine is always going to be routine, but I will not always be me at this point in time. Therefore, you make the best out of the life you are given because you are only given it once. You do not get a second chance after death. You are you once. You are only you, and you are unique.
The moral of this is not all problems can be fixed. “Just think, the way you think others are broken says more about you than about them.” The unique thing about a day that goes by is that over seven billion people experienced today differently. You’ll wake up tomorrow to experience a whole new day. Tomorrow is a new chance.
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139,486 Literary Works • 672,576 Reviews
Okay cool writing. You was able to successfully use descriptive words that painted a picture for the readers to see.You spoke with a lot of intelligence and I am sure a lot of people we be able to relate to this story. I enjoyed this read.
I enjoy how you organized your work. The word choice is amazing; you consistently paint pictures of how you feel and what you believe. It's depressing and hopeful at the same time. It's considerate, deep, intelligent, and incredible. I can't give much negative honestly. My only thing is that you could possibly expand this into something much bigger. You did a good job explaining how you feel. Well done!
I enjoy how you organized your work. The word choice is amazing; you consistently paint pictures of how you feel and what you believe. It's depressing and hopeful at the same time. It's considerate, deep, intelligent, and incredible. I can't give much negative honestly. My only thing is that you could possibly expand this into something much bigger. You did a good job explaining how you feel. Well done!
I don't know if this is reviewable as this is a journal entry, so I'll leave one part here to be like a little comment on your blog and another part where I'll basically be a bit of a jerk and try to review it anyway.
Encouraging Ellstar:
Thirteen is a difficult time period to be in. Not only is everything changing around you and the transition from childhood to adulthood becomes harder, but it is also one of those generally bad ages where you're thinking about who you are and what makes you...well, you. You need to remind yourself, though, that while it may not get better, time stops for no man. No happy moment is going to remain happy, and no sad moment is going to remain sad. Most of us live to see better days that may or may not happen, but I think it's much more dependable to live to see the possibilities of the future.
Whatever test you're going through now, you will make through it. I believe, deep in my bottomless soul, that you definitely will.
Now, The Ellstar Everybody Hates (PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE THE ELLSTAR EVERYBODY HATES THEY ARE VERY UGLY AND THEY MAKE NO SENSE BLEH):
I'm not going to talk much in this section because, of course, you may or may not be looking for a review. However, I felt like you could've used a bit more focus in your work this time.
Generally, the work seems a bit all over the place. It's a coming of age diary, that's what I get, yet it goes all over the place from depression to routines to beauty on the inside. This can easily be fixed by a common thread between all these pieces, such as how hiding oneself leads to sadness, which is what I think you were aiming for but got lost in translation. If you could put more focus on that one sentiment, I think this could be much more touching than it already is, which is already a lot.
Also, there were a couple of places where you italicized certain things for...seemingly no reason. Why did you italicize those things? To put more emphasis on them? I think, and this is just a personal opinion, if those things were as powerful as you initially believed them to be, you wouldn't need to italicize them. I think you should go for 'letting the reader think for themselves' approach, instead of pointing out all the important things they need to think about. Unless, of course, you're writing an article. But that's a different matter entirely.
Anyway, good work, and I hope you get better soon. Here's an honorary YWS hug. *HUGS*
Signing out,
--EM.
I love this piece. It's not necessarily something that you can critique, however, because it seems like a journal entry. But, I'm going to do my best.
I enjoy how you organized your work. The word choice is impeccable, and you consistently paint vivid pictures of how you feel and what you believe. It's depressing and hopeful at the same time. It's considerate, deep, intelligent, and incredible.
I can't give much negative honestly. My only thing is that you could possibly expand this into something much bigger. Possibly write a book about the depression amongst our youth and the inability of teenagers to cope with a lot of the problems that they have on their own. You could change this subtle feeling into a loud and boisterous idea to change the world for the better.
Lastly, no matter what you are feeling or what is going on, things do get better. Thirteen is a rough age to deal with because of the mixture of hormones and feelings. There are a lot of problems that can't be fixed until you decide that you want to fix them yourself. You talk a lot about how people need things or other people to cope. I respectfully disagree. I feel like you need to find out how to cope with things alone.
The only reason I believe this, though, is because counselors never truly worked for me. I found myself relying on me and my feelings to get me through instead of relying on other. My only piece of advice would be to continue to push through until you find yourself coping on your own, or you find something to continue to push you through. My only advice is to not put all of your eggs in one basket. Don't rely on one thing to get you through your problems and days. Because then, when you lose that one thing, you lose yourself. And that's never a good thing to deal with.
Stay strong though. Don't let things get you too down, and try to have confidence in yourself all around.
*hugs you very tight and doesn't let go* Yeah, everyone experiences the day different, but a lot of people have depression and hurt and sadness, including me.. Just maybe not the same as you. Have you ever heard Lemonade Mouth's, More Than a Band? Please go listen to it and also, I'm here for you. okay?
No I haven't, but I'll listen to it now. Thank you, Red. It means a lot. I'm here for you too.
Wow, this was deep.
It made me sad, but I liked it. I find it very puzzling that I can relate to all this. I really haven't been feeling well lately. This just really hit me. Good job, Sarina.
~Keep <3
Thank you, love. I hope you feel better and I am sorry to upset you. I have an edited version I will be fixing this one too in a short moment. It's basically the same thing so you don't have to reread but it's just a more in depth explanation of things running through my mind right now. I haven't been feeling to well in this sense either because I have a lot going on right now, but thank you for the comment and I hope you have a nice rest of the day. Stay positive, love.
-S
Don't feel responsible for my reaction. It was going to happen sooner or later. I wish you well too. <3
I am still sorry; however my intent of this was to touch peoples' hearts. I still apologize for upsetting you although I feel as if anyone who reads this will be upset due to the fact I too upset myself writing this but writing in my way of expressing things going on. ( I just finished editing and fixed things up so if you wish to read the revised version, feel free.)
Sure.