"Who will rid me of this demanding priest?" The king guffawed, throwing his tankard of ale in the air. "I carpet his chapel with velvet and still he asks me to give money for the poor!" He looked at his subjects, seated either side of him at the table. "Well? What do you think?"
At the king's prompting they all nodded their heads, muttering words of agreement. "He should be punished, m'lord. What a greedy man indeed."
"Exactly." He raised the tankard to his lips and poured the brown liquid down his throat, though some made its way to his shirt. ''And to think that we used to school side by side. But no, he sees himself higher above me now, a man of God, making all these demands."
"What shall we do, sire?" One knight asked, glancing back and forth between his brothers.
"What shall you do?" He bellowed. "Take another swig, of course, before my old friend claims it for himself!" The king banged his vessel onto the table and signaled for his servant to pour more ale. He muttered under his breath, "Who'll rid of me of 'im?"
After supper four of the king's knights met in the courtyard. Their horses were ready to ride and their swords recently polished.
“Are you sure we're doing the right thing?” The youngest of the four asked, climbing onto his horse. The evening sun glistened on his armour.
“You heard the king. Who shall rid me of this demanding priest? That's what he said and I bet there's a nice reward for whoever brings him the greedy oaf's head.”
It was agreed that they would ride to the chapel and assassinate the priest on the king's orders. The brother knights vowed that they would share responsibility, so that they would each be equally rewarded.
When the king awoke he was asked to meet the knights outside. “What do they want at this hour?” He moaned, rubbing his head which was sore from the previous evening's drink.
“I do not know, m'lord, but they were grinning from ear to ear with blood on their hands.” The messenger bowed and exited the chamber so that the king could dress. He reluctantly threw on his pants and robe, and wobbled downstairs. This better be important, the king thought.
“My good king, we hope you are well.” The eldest knight bowed and was followed by his brothers. As they leaned toward the ground the king thought he saw blood covering the horse behind them, but he believed he was only hallucinating. “My king, we have done as you asked. My brothers and I-”
“What was it that I asked?” The king steadied himself.
All four armour clad men stepped aside so that the horse, and the figure upon it, were revealed. “We have killed the priest as you requested.” There lay his old friend's bruised, wine red body strung over an animal. The priest's torso was shredded with wounds, and his face pale and empty. The knights stepped toward their king, who toppled onto the lawn. “M'lord, when shall we collect our reward?”
“Reward!” He shouted in a fit of despair. “I did not order the priest's execution! You have slain my good friend!”
“But you said, at the supper-” The youngest knight began, but was cut off by his brother. “Your words exactly, my good king, were who shall rid me of this demanding priest?”
The king pulled at his hair, screaming and weeping. The pain he'd felt from the drink was a mere scratch compared to the guilt he now felt. In one drunken evening he had let his anger get the better of him. He had not thought about his words before he'd spoken, instead he spat out careless accusations and had ordered the death of a most trusted friend.
The following day, after hastily arranging a funeral befitting a saint, the king walked barefoot along the streets of his city. Lining the cobbled paths were one hundred monks, each holding a whip. As a penance for his crimes, the king had them whip him as he stumbled by, though he knew that he would never truly be cleansed of murder.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,347 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
I like this story. I thought the king was being built up to be a bad guy, like the stereotypical king, abrasive and power hungry, but he ends up not being such a bad guy at all - it's a good twist. He's also made sympathetic because of the last line. It brings a couple of good messages, one being "be careful what you say in a position of power, because you never know if someone might take you seriously" and the other one "be careful with alcohol". I like how the one knight was the one being reasonable and questioning the idea, but the others were just like "What are you talking about? He's the king! We do as he says!" I think they knew he was drunk, but they just wanted to execute the man regardless. So, this is a good story that's pretty thought invoking, I give it an A.
Timmy here for a few thoughts!
Before I begin, let me just say I loved this piece. I'm a Catholic, and I used to go to a church with this saint as its patron, so it was really nice to see a story written about his life! This is something many people have written on, because it was one of the bravest things the churchman did in his life - defying the king when he did wrong. And I've read the story many times myself, so I know how it goes... and I think you did a wonderful job capturing the story. There may be a few things different (such as them bringing his body back. For some reason, I remember it left in the cathedral. He was praying when they killed him), but all of those things are mostly just opinion and what you as the writer envision happened. I do know he was in the cathedral, though, and that's more than opinion. But if they brought the body back or not - seems like something you could play with.
On reading it again, this didn't sound right... so I looked up his death again, and this was not the reason why the King wanted him dead. The actual reason why is that Thomas, since he was the Archbishop, dealt with a priest who'd murdered someone. That set Henry on edge, since he was "taking the law into his own hands". He'd changed the law a while back and made it so Thomas couldn't do that, but he'd done it anyway. After Becket protested against the king and his changed rules, the King accused Becket of theft and asked him where all the money was that'd gone through his hands as chancellor (he used to be the chancellor of England, but Henry thought he'd get more power in the church if he made him archbishop - so he asked the pope). The thing that finally spurred Henry to yell what he did in that drunken madness was after Thomas Becket excommunicated a few bishops who supported the king. You can read up more on his death and life here so you have a more detailed picture of what I'm talking about.
Now you said the soldiers got on their horses and rode to the chapel. That no worky. When Henry told the soldiers in his drunken rage that he wished someone would rid him of the prelate, he was in Normandy. They did ride to kill the bishop, but they had to sail to England to kill him. So, really, they couldn't have done it in the way you wrote here. And one more point I have to make is they beheaded the bishop - not hacked him up the way you described. So he would've been headless.
Now while I picked this apart and nitpicked all the things that didn't work with history, I loved this story! Putting the fact aside that I'm a Catholic, I still think it's a fun and inspiring story... and has that moral you wanted, too. I love that you wrote this to show that moral, as this is such a good choice for it. And your writing was lovely - easy to read, but detailed and enjoyable at the same time.
Keep writing!
~Darth Timmyjake
This is really well written. I didn't expect him to do that to himself at the end. I actually believed he wanted the priest dead, but apparently not. I didn't seem he was all that drunk. Although, keep it that way. It's really great.
*armor*
With the word 'leant,' are you sure that's the word you want to use there? Did they leap (of their horses) to the ground or did they lean toward the ground?
I didn't see any mistakes, you sentence structure (from my view) is very good. In other news. I like this, he made himself pay for what he'd done, even if (in your words) 'he would never truly be cleansed of murder.'
~Sharrae out, tottles
Thanks for finding the nitpicks!
Yeah, I wanted him to be under the influence of alcohol, but still be able to think properly. The moral of the story is think before you speak.
And I totally get that from here so I know other readers do as well, and you're welcome.