Young Writers Society

Hey there Dracula. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

1. Sorry it took me a bit to get here, I was busy with exams for the past few months. The picture at the end threw me off a bit but I guess that was just to relate it back into the story, I didn't get much from it. It just seemed like a forced addition that you were putting there because you felt like people needed to know what dyed flowers looked like. If it holds some deeper meaning, please inform me of such.

2. The story took a twist that I didn't think it was going to take (which was a nice twist btw) and had a rather calm resolution. It just didn't seem like it was going to cool down that quickly, like there would have been more discussion between the main character and her boss. Maybe that's just how I loom at these matters but the light hinting of a tragic backstory, don't really catch my attention. Everyone has a somewhat tragic backstory that drove them to be here but I do get the feeling she's raising her sister by herself or something. That's about the only dark perspective that I'm getting out of this.

3. You might want to move the language rating up a little bit since you do use a form of 'bitch' twice. Even though I don't really mind it (and it's barely a swear word), rules are rules so. There was one particular line in this entire story that I just loved because it was just sitting in the middle of chaos and it was about peace itself.

Dying flowers is oddly therapeutic.

Hi, Dracula.
I agree with other reviewers that it was very sweet. There can never be enough written on the subject of a big sister's love for her younger siblings. And I'm not saying that just because I'm a big sister myself. I liked how the main protagonist goes from being annoyed to reminiscing. I also liked her boss, Ashley. She has a way about her, makes me think of Felicity Dow, the main protagonist's boss in Madelyn Alt's 'Bewitching' series.
There are few typos, I think. You switch from past to present tense mid-story. « “Your sister has just stepped into womanhood. It’s a frustrating, confusing world, and she has the right to [be] bitchy for five days in the month.” » « I glimpse [I glance?] at the rose petals, swirls of gold rising in them like the morning sun. »
Kudos for one sentence I found hilarious : « The colour red wasn’t exactly on my favourites list at the moment. »

I think this is just sweet. The love of a sister. What else would fall into such categories of heart warming, heart rendering. And It was surely brilliant to express that the little girl was a flower. I love the way her mood changes from annoyed to a reminiscing stage. And I think that her boss is a brilliant character. Charming.

I just noticed that when I pasted this into the text editor, all my punctuation disappeared. Some words were in italics, and it changed the way sentences were read. I'll try to remember to fix it at some point. XD

This is so awesome! I love how you connected the flowers with the sisters period. She is blossoming into mother hood just like she see flowers blossom everyday! I have to ask if this is personal in any way or just something you came up with??

I didn't find many errors, I think you have a wonderful way with words and a very strong imagination. I love that it's a short story but I think it could of been a tad longer to add more detail about the fight. I also would have loved to known the sisters reaction when she got the flowers.

Great Job! Sorry I wasn't more critical I'm not very good when it comes to grammar and punctuation anyway ! Good luck with your writing career !