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The Descent Chapter 9: Blood On My Hands Part 1

by D4RKR4VEN


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Full Novel Synopsis: Sequel to 'The Spiralling', itself a sequel to the Kick-Ass (2010) movie. However, this novel can be read on its own. After Big Daddy died, Mindy was driven mad, subdued by Dave, and locked away in an Institute after killing all who she deemed responsible but Dave. Will she recover? What will happen next to a New York without her nor the Motherfucker? Elements of the Kick-Ass 2 (2013) movie and comic series will be taken in.

The Descent

Chapter 9: Blood On My Hands Part 1

It was harder than my earlier days, doing patrols. Back then, all I had on me was a green wetsuit and a pair of batons. Now, I’m almost a SWAT cop, minus the cooler gadgets and guns. But something even heavier was weighing me down, and it wasn’t even Monday yet. It’d lead me to wonder - was the world a better place with me around? With all those new superheroes running about? Or were we complicating things?

I saw myself in ‘RJ’, and Doctor Gravity. They were what I used to be, the right mix of naiveté and enthusiasm, and guess how did it turn out? I was trapped in the event horizon of a blackhole, felt like ripping my eyes out like Sam Neil in Event Horizon. I felt like a virus, multiplying myself through the superhero phenomenon. All the others were just copies of me, and yet I wouldn’t stop, even as I’m telling you this now. I wanted the mask, the Kick-Ass persona, even when I’m selfishly putting Mindy at risk of a relapse. I’m a dirty old virus, no matter what the people on the streets say.

“Hey Kick-Ass! Welcome back!” A girl in a black jacket cheered my return. Her skinhead boyfriend, or friend, wanted a hi-five, so I gave him one half-heartedly. Wasn’t even looking at him. It didn’t even bother me anymore if it was affecting my image.

“Yeah!” The skinhead exclaimed during the hi-five, ecstatic. I guess he didn’t notice, “You’re the best, man!” I didn’t show my appreciation, because Mindy was on my mind way before his compliment. I thought her discharge from Jameson Psychiatry Institute would fix things, that adopting her as a sister was atonement. It’s freaky, but I thought I wouldn’t be as lonely in my family with just me and dad, or in the superhero world as Kick-Ass. I was wrong on all counts. Nothing was fixed. There was no atonement, not a chance. The damage’d been done, and can never be taken back. I was lonelier than ever, the blues spreading throughout my body instead of turning yellow and fading away. It wasn’t Mindy in my family, and I’m certainly alone as Kick-Ass walking the streets, no Hit-Girl by my side.

There was no crime to stop for the day, again. Not that I was paying much attention. After 3 hours of nothing, I couldn’t take it anymore. It was the Fortress of Solitude for me. If you ask me, I’ve no idea whatsoever why I decided to retreat there. Was it a knee-jerk response? Was it some kind of logic? I wouldn’t know, and I was past the point of rationalising everything. I’d ran out of juice with the Mindy business.

Damon Macready. It was a name I’d avoided for a long time. I preferred Big Daddy – more distant. Back when Marcus Williams passed on, he and Mindy became a court case. Mindy was the easy part, as Marcus’ will excluded his own family from taking guardianship over Mindy – I’ve never really known or understood why. Then there were the assets Damon ensured remained with Mindy, regardless of who was guardian. This included their apartment home which acted as their headquarters, as well as their safe houses, all 6 of them, from A through to F, which were also embedded deep in apartment buildings. Harder to find, I guess. It was all in his will. The case dragged on for a few months. They were quiet about it, ‘judge’s decision pending’. By the time they’ve decided to let Mindy and subsequently, me and my dad, keep Damon’s assets, I didn’t bother. Kick-Ass and the superhero world was gone to me at the time with Mindy in an asylum, only to all be revived limply a week back.

I took a bus to Big Daddy and Hit-Girl’s headquarters. Didn’t even know how long it took. I was surprised I didn’t overshoot and get lost somewhere outside of New York. It was located on the top floor, last unit to the right. Number 14. I had the key in my keyring, and using it, I entered the house, from the present back into the past.

It didn’t look like anything out of the ordinary at first. A white hallway with generic pictures on the wall, tall and thin tables. There was a pink luggage by the door. I’d only been in the father-daughter duo’s headquarters once after the court turned it over to me and my dad – I didn’t know what it was for. It did look familiar though. Floodgates opened in my mind. I remembered myself walking through this hallway with Hit-Girl, after nearly getting burnt alive, after… Big Daddy was killed because of me.

A closed door with a keypad. I opened it, and immediately an LED on it started flashing, a cellphone inside started ringing. It was their system of detecting intruders entering their operations room – I figured that out the first time I came while Mindy was still in a straitjacket. I didn’t rush. Couldn’t bother. Taking the old cellphone in my hand and wiping away the dust collecting on its screen, I switched the alarm app on it off. Big Daddy’s cellphone, blasted my mind. I dropped it back on the table.

Grabbing a chair, a chair that probably used to be where Mindy (not Mandy) sat, I leaned back, took in the room around me. I was a goldfish. The computer screen before me was nearly grey with dust. The guns all around, mostly coloured in deathly black, had a mane of grey on their scalps. A year of dust, dust that probably were once part of Mindy and Big Daddy, their skin, now dead, coating everything they owned.

There were guns all around me, stuff that anyone from a comic book geek to a gun nut would ogle over, but nothing interested me, nothing but the picture standing beside the computer monitor before me. I picked it up, held it in both my hands. Can’t do it one-handed. Too sacred. The glass had attracted a lot of dust. Only two figures, like ghosts, stood behind it.

I wiped away the dust, and there they were, preserved by the miracle of photography. Back then, I didn’t even dare to look at such photos of them. There was no going back now. The faces of those victimised by my naivety. Damon and Mindy Macready, side by side, both smiling, as if nothing happened. Damon with his blonde hair, moustache and big spectacles, and Mindy… Mindy in her…

I laid my head on the table, used my arm as a pillow. It was dark, but it became darker, and darker.

The Lizewski Residence…

D’Amico Tower… Da-Mico Tower… Why does it sound so familiar? What’s a D’Amico Tower? Why does Mr Sal say that I’m familiar when I’ve never met him before? I wish I had the internet on my phone so that I could find out, but dad wouldn’t give me my internet on the phone. Dave wouldn’t let me touch a computer. Everyone in school could use the internet on their phone. It’s so unfair.

“Mandy? Mandy honey?” I heard dad said over me. I looked back at him, “You okay there, Mandy? You zoned out there for a second.” I was in bed, and daddy was tucking me in. I don’t know why, but I liked it better when Dave does it. I feel weird, because normally a girl would prefer daddy to do it.

“I’m fine, daddy.” I reassured him, “Dad, what’s a D’Amico Tower?” I wanted to ask Dave this question but he wasn’t around for the whole day. Where did he go when I needed him the most? Something was wrong with me. I can’t think. Why?

“Where did you hear that from?” Dad queried. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him about Sal. I shouldn’t have talked to strangers. But I don’t want to lie to daddy.

“I met a new friend today.” I said. Dad was so tall when I look up at him from my pillow. He looks a bit scary that way, “His name is Sal Bertolinni. He said that.” Dad didn’t answer immediately.

“It’s a place.” Dad finally said, but he wanted to say more, “It’s Sal’s thing, so don’t worry your head over it, okay?” He ruffled my hair. A lot of people love doing that to me. I like it too.

“Now, goodnight.” He finally wished me. He kissed me on the forehead.

“Goodnight.” I wished him back. Dad stood up and walked away, switched off the light for me. He was very gentle. He closed the door without making a big bang.


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Fri Mar 06, 2015 3:53 am
SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...



Hello, Dark Raven!

Let's dive right into the thick of things.

... even as I’m telling you this now.


Alright, so up until this point, everything has been basically chronological, aside from the slight jump in time backwards in the beginning, but eventually coming back up to speed. This really stood out to me, since it's pulling the reader out to a story to show that this is just the recounting of events. Frankly, it seems strange to pull us out of the happenings of the story to stop and think, "Wait, so he's narrating this? What about the parts with Mindy in it? How did he know that?" I recommend just cutting this out and keep it in the past tense.

Back tracking a little bit, I'm not really sure what the beginning of the part was trying to say. He says that now he is a SWAT Cop without everything that goes with it. Well, then what do you mean that he's a SWAT Cop now? It seems like you contradicted the statement before with something that was the negated in the same sentence. Dave was observing that he before only had his batons, but now he was a SWAT Cop... With nothing extra. Perhaps make that more clear that you intended to be said.

Did Dave fall asleep? At first, I believed that he was talking about it getting darker outside, but then it occurred to me that he may have been passing out... But was it just him falling asleep? There's probably a better way to say this without being extremely obvious, but that makes more sense.

I really like how you go through with this and really show how Dave feels. Even the scenery about him is dreary and dark, like with the dust collecting on the guns. It was great when it was compared to the dead skin, like they are both dead. But now, I'm starting to wonder about Mandy. She's starting to come to and it's quite obvious that she thinks something's up.

I do wonder though, perhaps it wouldn't be bad for her to remember? She went insane before yes, but maybe not everything. And to be honest, I don't even remember what caused her to finally snap. It couldn't have been the death of her father, because caused them in a fit, didnt she? So then, was it just mental issues she was having? Maybe taking this clean slate and maybe having some things being remembered wouldnt be so bad, as long as they dealt with the illness at the core (but, I'm no doctor xD).

Once again, I don't have much to say. Another great chapter and I'm eager for more! Keep on Writing,
~Wolfare~




AdmiralKat says...


Is this your last review for today?



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Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:47 am
megsug wrote a review...



Hey~
I know I've reviewed a chapter of this before, but I don't remember which it was. As it is, I'm glad to see another one in need of a review.

So, this is the first chapter I've read with Mindy in it, and it's quite interesting... I wonder where it will take us.
I'm going to jump into just a few nitpicks. You actually did really well. There's not much to comment on.

Big Daddy’s cellphone, blasted my mind.

Blasted is an awkward verb to use here. I'm not quite sure what it means.

Grabbing a chair, a chair that probably used to be where Mindy (not Mandy) sat

I feel like the reader can pick up on the fact that you're addressing her as Mindy, so the parenthetical statement there is useless. It just breaks up the sentence.

stuff that anyone from a comic book geek to a gun nut would ogle over,


Deanie mentioned tenses. I would just like to add that I saw a few in the second part. A good reading over will have them out of there.

I'm still really impressed. I really like your story. I may go and look through some more of it soon.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to post on my wall, PM me, or hit me up on the chatbar. Let me know if you ever need a review.
Megs~




D4RKR4VEN says...


Thanks for the review. You can be sure that I'll let you know whenever I need a review :)



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Thu Oct 31, 2013 6:48 pm
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Deanie wrote a review...



Hola!

Mandy's doing it for herself, asking questions and is slowly starting to see that she has been limited in different ways. Although we know she trusts her family a lot, maybe she will stray from that as she starts to figure things out for herself. Dad dealt with a pretty difficult situation very well there :)

Meanwhile Dave isn't faring as well as she is. He's gotten to the point where he blames himself for all the wrong happenings that Demoness caused, for the death of Big Daddy and all these superheros on the street. He wanted to make the world a better place, but he's not so sure he's done that anymore. Has he just made things worse? You tell me, you are the author after all ;)

But something even heavier was weighing me down, and it wasn’t even Monday yet.


You must like the word even a lot. Because most of the double repeats in the sentences are to do with even. My suggestion is to cut the first one.

the right mix of naiveté and enthusiasm, and guess how did it turn out


I've already told you about the tense thing so I don't bother to bring it up every review. I just mean tense thing in general. So this is a quick reminder for when you edit/continue writing to remember the tense issue. But in this sentence it really did bother me. Too many unnecessary small words.

What it should look like: the right mix of naiveté and enthusiasm, and guess how that turned out?

Really, this was a great chapter, hence the shorter review. Will read more soon, and feeling proud because I'm almost all caught up! :D

Deanie x





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