Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction

18+ Language Violence Mature Content

The Descent Chapter 10: The Kiss Part 1

by D4RKR4VEN


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Full Novel Synopsis: Sequel to 'The Spiralling', itself a sequel to the Kick-Ass (2010) movie. However, this novel can be read on its own. After Big Daddy died, Mindy was driven mad, subdued by Dave, and locked away in an Institute after killing all who she deemed responsible but Dave. Will she recover? What will happen next to a New York without her nor the Motherfucker? Elements of the Kick-Ass 2 (2013) movie and comic series will be taken in.

The Descent

Chapter 10: The Kiss Part 1

13 June 2011, Monday

Deer Diary,

School started again today. I’m scared of coming back, because the weekends were fun. I’m scared that I will bleed in class, and then everyone will hate me and say that I am disgusting.

Writing class was hard. Mrs Morrison said that I am making a lot of spelling mistakes, but she didn’t scold me. I was afraid she might. Instead, she was okay, I guess, like Mrs Davies. Doug and Carl became jealous of me though. They were always getting the worse scolding from the teachers.

But that was not the worst thing that happened today. When I was in the yard, two large boys asked for my lunch money. I didnt want to give them my lunch money because I would go hungry, but they pushed me.

I had sudden thoughts about fighting, but I remembered my nightmare, and I cant stop shaking, so I gave them my lunch money. Why must people do things like this? They are EVIL. I’ve never met people more evil than that before.

I was lucky that the adults were nice to me. When I told the kitchen people about it, they gave me my lunch. They said that I was a sweet girl. I didn’t tell Dave though. I didn’t want to worry him. He looks tired, and he’s always frouning, and worried.

After school, I went to Pete’s house. I had to ask Dad first though, but he agreed as long as I dont read comic books, play violent computer games or watch violent movies. Pete and I ended up playing Snakes and Ladders, and Chess. I kept beating him in Chess, and he said that I was like Professor X, but I don’t know who Professor X was.

When I came back home for dinner, I wanted to talk to Dave, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. Dad said he went out with friends. I wish I could be with him more, maybe be with his friends…

I was actually excited today, being Kick-Ass, that I decided to leave early to go on patrol. I would be meeting my first potential teammate, Doctor Gravity with his Zero-G Device. In the hours before that, I was greeting people when they were cheering me on. I was pumped. Today felt like a jackpot – I even came across a purse snatcher, taking away the possession of someone’s grandma. I took off after him, nearly ran out of breath, so I fired my tasers. Both of them. At him. Needless to say, he couldn’t move for quite a while, and the rest was routine – zip tie him, wait for the shower of glory and then leave shortly before the police came.

I tried my best not to think about Mindy. I plunged into my Kick-Ass double identity. After all, that’s what being a superhero’s about right? Putting aside your secret identity to get out there and kick criminal ass? Still, the ghost of Mindy’s past was always not far away, just at the horizon. I had to work hard to keep it out.

Later…

Down the street, the red-and-white uniform of Doctor Gravity was unmistakable. He stood out from the crowd – that was partly what our costume was for. It took an almost neon red and blue for the citizens of Metropolis to notice him in the sky, anyway. Normally, I would think of the coolest way to make an entrance, but we were on the street, there were people all around and I wasn’t in the mood by the time Doctor Gravity came along.

“Doctor Gravity?” I greeted him formally – it was the least I could do. Surprisingly, he didn’t notice me until I was closer.

“Kick-Ass. A pleasure!” He took my hand, did a secret greeting of some sort with me. My hand followed his almost unconsciously. It wasn’t much of a secret handshake, “Did I ever say that you inspired me?”

“Yeah, on TV.” I’d seen him before. He wasn’t unknown. The media had already gotten to him, not to mention the internet. He was first on Google.

“You look cooler in the flesh. Last time I saw you on TV, the footage wasn’t good.” He praised. All I did was just to just nod and say yes, yeah, sure. After defeating Mindy in her insanity (barely, we were both unconscious by the end of it), I didn’t bother with the media anymore, and once I stopped going out as Kick-Ass, the media stopped bothering me. We started walking, and he started warming up rather quickly, a little too much like a fanboy, “Check this out.” He thrust out his space-age stick to show it to me in full view.

“This is the Zero-G Device I invented. Can levitate any object up to a ton.” Doctor Gravity claimed, and I listened intently, although admittedly his invention looked far less impressive than how it was on his Facebook page.

“For real?” Still, somewhere deep inside me, I wanted to believe. He looked at me, wearing a somewhat devious smile.

“Hell no, man! This is a baseball bat wrapped in tinfoil!” He admitted, and we laughed together. In the end, this Doctor Gravity fellow was a fascinating guy, although I was starting to doubt his capabilities in a fight. Sure, he wasn’t Hit-Girl, but I had to start somewhere, “But it fooled you!” I wasn’t so sure if it would fool everyone. I couldn’t imagine him holding off a gang with fear of his device alone.

While we were patrolling, he stopped by a street vendor, ordered a diet mountain dew. He offered to buy me a can, but I declined. I didn’t feel like including projectile vomiting as one of my moves. I was starting to really doubt his fighting ability, and starting to miss Hit-Girl’s.

“I’m not even a physics professor, just a copywriter for an ad agency.” He threw even more cats out of the bag. It was positively raining with cats. As it turns out, Doctor Gravity wasn’t very far from being a cosplayer, or a roleplayer. I was almost eyeing him impatiently, worryingly, but in his revelry he didn’t notice. The only thing going for him was that he was original (marginally) and he was for real (at least I think so). “But that’s why I love this stuff! You can be anyone you want!” He said, showing off his ‘Zero-G Device’ like a giant claymore from Braveheart or something. Well, at least the design was pretty cool. I didn’t even notice it was tinfoil he used.

We patrolled together, into the night. I was hoping for more action, but I was hoping even more for Doctor Gravity to digest his diet Mountain Dew, or at least fart the gas out. After hearing everything he said, I was beginning to distrust his ability to watch my back. “Done many team-ups before?” He finally asked. I was worried that he wouldn’t stop talking about himself, about the making of Doctor Gravity.

“Kind of. Yeah. No, not… Really.” How many times had I done team-ups before? Once, with Hit-Girl, and it felt like she was just desperate for a partner, willing to go for anyone after Big Daddy died – there weren’t many superheroes on the list back then. And if I remember correctly, she actually considered shooting me with a submachinegun to avenge her father. I was taken aback then, but not surprised. The guilt was there, it’d sunk in pretty fast. Then there was the whole thing with Demoness. While she disappeared as Hit-Girl, I did a team-up with the Grandmaster and his late apprentice, Michael. “I was getting kind of nervous, being on my own.” Not to mention dragged down by my own sins.

“Yeah, me too. I’ve never even been in a fight.” He spilled, just when I thought he couldn’t be more inexperienced. He reminded me of myself, when I got stabbed trying to stop two muggers, the same guys who’d been plaguing me and my friends, from stealing a car. I stopped myself for a moment along that train of thought – in the end, I could relate to Doctor Gravity. I was a dirty old virus, and he’s a younger me.

“Well, hopefully you won’t have to.” I tried to cushion his apparent shame, make it easier to take. I was there before, and look where it got me, and when being naïve was taken too far, you end up causing harm…

“Hey, I’ve been talking to a guy talking about forming a team if you’re interested.” He finally said something that caught my attention big-time. The motherlode. The way to restart my career as Kick-Ass, to get off where I left off. The next logical step – forming my own Justice League, with its own Batman, Superman, Wonderwoman, Green Lantern… “I don’t know how serious he is, but his picture is pretty hardcore.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s why I contacted you!” I couldn’t contain my excitement anymore. My gear felt weightless then. Membership into my own Justice League, hopefully even becoming a founding member – my credentials for helping to put an end to Frank D’Amico and Demoness should mean something… Yeah, and killing lots of innocent people too. I stopped smiling, shut my teeth back behind my lips again, “I didn’t want to freak you out by bringing it up too soon, you know.”

“I’ll show you his profile after I hit the men’s room.” The good news was, the Mountain Dew’s out. Bad news? It was obvious the almighty atom wasn’t exactly drilled and combat ready. Exasperating. I leaned by the toilet door, registering the faint smell of waste from within. I moved away from it. If it was Hit-Girl, things would have been smoother, and I wouldn’t be the one doing all the worrying.

“Yo, Kick-Ass!” Someone shouted from across the street, walking towards me. A man in a black shirt, accompanied by a huge guy in a singlet, taking a video of me. They were either victims or fans, “Man, am I glad to see you.”

“Is there anything I can do to help, sir?” The words popped out of my mouth with well-rehearsed bravado. I didn’t even need to think. The suspicions came much later. As in never. The last time I checked, superheroes don’t get lynched.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
639 Reviews


Points: 13700
Reviews: 639

Donate
Fri Mar 06, 2015 1:48 pm
SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...



Hey, Dark Raven!

Quick little thing to start off with ~

...when I got stabbed trying to stop two muggers, the same guys who’d been plaguing me and my friends, from stealing a car.


Just as I was reading this, sometimes, I noticed there would be a line that has a big long interruption in the middle of the sentence, but it seems like the sentence could end. But then the sentence goes on anyways. It's rather jerky, since the two thoughts in there were fairly different and it swapped back to the first thoughts when I believed it was complete. Be careful for things like that.

Isn't it quite interesting that Mindy makes one friend her age who just so happens to be a comic-book addict like Dave used to be? Since its just a diary entry, I understand that there wouldn't be as many details, but I do wondering what Pete thinks of all this. Has he been brought up to speed? Wouldn't he question about the comic books? Why so specific instructions? You could possibly add in a portion to the diary entry talking about how Pete complained she couldn't do those things, or he seemed kind of frustrated (or even tried to temp her?)

This Dr. Gravity guy sounds very, very pathetic. I'm sure that's what you were going for (since I see Deanie mentions he was in the film) but why didn't Dave try to call him out for it? Why not try to pry it out of him then and there so that he wouldn't waste his time?

Alright, about the Justice League, I do wonder what's up with that. I remember that being mentioned a little ways back, but it was there nonetheless. He said then that he had joined one before, but now he goes on to say that he was the founder...? It doesn't really seem that clear to me. Before it sounded like someone made the deal to him and he responded, "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

In the last paragraph, I don't understand what he meant by 'suspicions came later'. He's talking to this man about helping him, but then by would he be suspicious? That he's getting led into a trap? It doesn't seem very clear to me what the point of the last portion in the paragraph was, but I did like how everything is starting to slip back into him as he falls into the groove of things.

That's all I have. Keep on Writing,
~Wolfare~




User avatar
463 Reviews


Points: 12208
Reviews: 463

Donate
Sun Nov 24, 2013 3:23 am
megsug wrote a review...



Hello once more,
You're chapter must've been stuck back here a long time.

I only have one nitpick this time:

I went to Pete’s house

Since she doesn't put the apostrophes in her contractions, I don't think she would put a apostrophe here either.

Other than that, it was good. I've never seen the second Kick-ass, so I liked your scenes with Doctor Gravity. There were two issues that I had though.

I don't understand why Dave wanted Doctor Gravity to digest the Mountain Dew so bad.
I was also kind of confused about who brought up the superhero league. Doctor Gravity or Dave?
Because you have:
“Hey, I’ve been talking to a guy talking about forming a team if you’re interested.” He finally said something that caught my attention big-time.

But you also have:
I stopped smiling, shut my teeth back behind my lips again, “I didn’t want to freak you out by bringing it up too soon, you know.”

Or maybe Dave already knew... but then why was he so surprised when Doctor Gravity brought it up? ...I'm not sure. Just thought I'd bring it to your attention.

I really loved Mindy's diary entry. It's the first I've read in this particular novel, but it was good.

Sorry this review is so short.
You know my schpiel~
Megs~




D4RKR4VEN says...


Yeah, the review's short. Try to think of more things to say whenever you're reviewing. I find that there's always something to say.

There was this once I reviewed a 'poem' that's only a single line - Yes, a SINGLE line - long. I wrote around 2000-4000 characters worth of review for it. But what helped a lot was how clever it was with just that single line.



User avatar
1634 Reviews


Points: 67548
Reviews: 1634

Donate
Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:47 pm
Deanie wrote a review...



Hey Raven!

As an extension to my apology I will do at least one of my overdue reviews tonight.

Reading this there were no minor details, or even tense jumping, which is absolutely fab! In fact, there isn't much at all for me to criticize. This chapter has it all really... A continuation in character development for Mandy as we see her writing in her diary has improved, apart from small mistakes. And you can see her thinking about violence and being highly intelligent. You get the old Dave's enthusiasm in his job, and then his quick impatience again.

My main problem with this text is that the scene with Doctor Gravity seems exactly like the movie! I know it's a fan fiction, but isn't the aim to stick to the main ideas and deviate from the plot? I could understand if you wanted to keep the key things like them talking, the joining the group suggestion and so on. But the smaller things like dialogue and some lines that are right from out of the movie... they could be nicer and a lot more original if you made them your own. Maybe Doctor Gravity's bat is actually a weapon? Maybe it has some other pathetic occurrence like it pops out balloons or something, that he calls a distraction. I just felt like this chapter needed a bit of originality mixed in there... (yes, I can comment on originality now I've seen the movies :D)

Other than that, I cannot find anything remotely wrong with this chapter and look forwards to reading more soon ^^

Deanie x




D4RKR4VEN says...


Nah, you don't have to apologise or anything. Anyway, I happen to have the same opinions as you, as you've discovered in the next part. But you're right, and you've reminded me that it's important to be original even if my writing's based off of someone's work. You can be sure that I won't be stuck transcribing the movie, that's for sure! :D

Anyway, I like your idea for Doctor Gravity's weapon, not so much the balloon but the idea that it could have a few other interesting features.




Doors are for people with no imagination.
— Skulduggery Pleasant