Young Writers Society

Hello, Bhavaya!

I'm Wist and I'm here to review your poem today. I'm not sure you meant it as a poem, since it's categorized as "other" but I definitely find it poetic. Your message is clear and your imagery is strong when you implement it. Especially the path transitioning from thorns to roses. With that said, let's dive into your work!

We have made many mistakes in aloof

This line is confusing to me since "aloof" is an adjective. Someone is aloof when they're cold and distant. Whereas the way you're using it is making aloof a noun. I would suggest changing it to a noun with a similar meaning such as "indifference" or "coldness."

The world's love might be lost,
But I still love you to the core.

Self! Love! We love to see it. This is such a great message to promote and I hope you're practicing what you preach here. No matter what happens to the world, you have yourself.

Through thorns one day rosy path will come alive.

It looks like you might be missing a word here before "rosy path." It should be either "a rosy path" or "the rosy path." There needs to be an article to define "rosy path."

One day it will be fine.

This is such a beautiful way to end this work. Things may be hard, but they won't be hard forever. It's a lovely mantra to have.

Overall, this work was simple, sweet, and had a good message. All it needs is two grammatical fixes to make it even better. Thanks for publishing; I enjoyed reading.

Happy Writing!
Wist

Honk! HonkReview!

Hello there, fellow writer! I noticed feathers and Goose prints scattered across your work. I'll be using the 'Honkreview!' review method today. Let’s get into it:

First Honk Impressions 📣 — First Impressions
This poem is short, but it delivers exactly what is stated in the review summary. is packed with emotion. It starts off bittersweet as you reflect on your past decisions, while noting how the mistakes you made changed you. I also love how the poem becomes more empowering. It motivates the author to keep going. I love the theme of reconciliation.

Feathered Insights 🪶 — Suggestions and tips
Imagery: Because this poem is realistic, you use a lot of phenomenal imagery to paint the themes of struggle and self-reconciliation. There aren't a lot here, but when there is, it's very powerful. It instantly makes the poem hit a little harder.
Flow: I go into more detail below, but I love how simple this is. It's very easy to follow. I think it makes a good balance between the simplicity of lines with the heaviness of the themes. I will say, make sure you're reading your poem through at least once. There are small grammar mistakes here and there that kind of make reading the poem clunky.
Clarity: There is good pacing in this poem, starting with a reflection and then going into self-motivation for the future. But I wonder if you could go deeper with this. I think getting to see examples or just a deeper reflection of how and why you're choosing to reconcile with yourself could make the poem feel more fleshed out. But I love how simple the language and formatting is.
Emotion: Since you wrote this poem for yourself, I can tell that this is very personal to you. You put your heart into this. As I said above, I would like to see examples of what you're doing to reconcile with yourself. Even the smallest actions can make a huge impact, and I would love to see that in the poem. This theme is a wonderful message that a lot of people can relate to. It's very inspiring!

But do keep in mind, the decision of taking these suggestions into account is entirely up to you.

Goosebumps 🔥 — Favorite quotes / parts

Never stop, the path might be thorny.

Through thorns one day rosy path will come alive.

I adore these lines for the imagery alone. They paint such a vivid description in my head. It's also a great metaphor for patience. Yes, it looks bad now, but someday, it will get easier.

The world's love might be lost,

But I still love you to the core.

I also love these lines. Yes, give yourself some self-love!

Goose Farewell Flight 🪿 — Conclusion

Well done on this story! Hope to have dropped some “Goose love” and valuable golden eggs. Until our next encounter, wishing you good luck with your future writing projects!

With love,
Valkyria