Everything in life comes with a price. Failure, success, happiness and love all have their prices. Sometimes the price is heavy. It is not just the sacrifices, compromises, the time, effort and the heart you put into such things. It is sometimes about loss and gain.
I realized this a month back when my long lost friend told me this over a phone call. We had a chit-chat almost after a year. I was so happy talking to him after so long. And then suddenly he said," Bhavya, you have changed." My instant reaction was,"Why do you think so?" And then he started an old tale of the 15 year old I was: strong, confident and unstoppable. I cried out loud and my heart ached. As he ended the call, he told me, " You have a magic and you will get it back when it is time.Trust me!"
And thus I got caught up in a bait of finding that magic. Whole month of July I had just one goal to get my magic back. I kept on hustling and suddenly racing I realized : Is this how magic comes back? or is this how I built my own magical empire? The instant answer was 'no'. This is not how I worked. Why do I force myself to be someone else? To be someone from past?.
On 17 July 2020, I realized that in the process of finding that magic back, that Bhavya back I don't have to be crazy. I just have to keep that much patience alive. If that Bhavya is bound to be back she will, or there will be something worthwhile.
But I realized that good, unhappy, sad times- all come with a price. In an illusion, of weighing the situations just as they appear on the surface we just overlook everything else. I saw exponential growth in life but with a price . We all have and will keep paying some price. Believing in the higher calling and just realizing our blessings is all we can do to make our world flowery again.