Dear reader,
The use of word you is just for addressing the general masses . Please do not take it to yourself...PLEASE DO PRESENT YOUR VIEWS FOR MY WORK.
MY SPECIAL LETTER TO THE WORLD ON ACCOUNT OF WOMEN'S DAY....
Dear World,
Today I will not be asking for EQUALITY, FOR BREAKING MY SHACKLES OF PATRIARCHY ,STEREOTYPES. I will neither be asking for liberty nor safety THE LIST GOES ON . This is what I have been doing from past so many years.Years passed by, but things still remain the same .
I think I am much worthy. WHY do I need to ask for rights when I deserve them? I feel we are devaluing WOMEN'S DAY. It was not meant to be celebrated one day but everyday. Day was made to mark significance of women in our lives. This letter is not for men or boys but for women and girls alike. You too sometimes judge other women, devalue them , fail to understand what they feel, up keeping the narrow mentality.
WOMEN MAKE THIS WORLD AND THEY DESERVE ALL THE LOVE , SUPPORT AND AFFECTION...
WOMEN ARE GEM OF THE WORLD. "WE NEED TO UNCELEBRATE WOMEN'S DAY THIS YEAR BECAUSE WE MUST CELEBRATE IT EVERY DAY.
~ LET US UNCELEBRATE WOMEN'S DAY~
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day (or night) So far!
I think that this piece of work has a very strong message, and the ideas behind it are really important. A lot of the thoughts and feelings behind this are things that our society needs to understand.
However, something I'd thought I'd mention is that when you use ALL CAPS, it sometimes reads as screaming. I would suggest using italics instead, as they add emphasis to a word, without making it look like you're shouting.
One small nitpick that bothered me a bit is the spaces between punctuation, or the lack there of. For example, in the line "...devalue them , fail to understand what they feel," And this is not an isolated case, it appears throughout this otherwise well done piece. It really disrupts the flow, and I think it's something you should look into.
In conclusion, this piece has some great ideas in it, you just need to work on your presentation a bit.
Keep on writing, and have a great day!
Hi@Horisun. First of all, thank you for reviewing my work.Thank you for all the appreciation and love. I am so glad that you liked my ideas and thoughts.
I am working on my presentation and I hope I will get refined by the next few works.Also thank you for telling me what is wrong with caps. I will surely be writing in italics from the next time when I want to lay emphasis.
Thank you for all the love and support.
From: Bhavya
No problem!
Hey BhavyaMehta123!
Welcome to YWS! I hope you're enjoying your time here thus far. My name is Elinor, and I'm dropping by to give you a quick review on your essay.
I like the message you're getting at here, that we need to celebrate Women's Day not just on one day of the year but every day. I also like you mention that women can often tear each other down when we are supposed to empower.
Overall, I think this essay could be a bit longer. While I think most people will understand what you're getting at, you can use some hypothetical examples, especially when you direct your message to other women and girls, to strengthen your argument. I would also recommend making sure the last three lines are not capitalized, and overall you do a pass for grammar. There's a lot of inconsistent spacing with punctuation in this.
Overall, I enjoyed the read! Please feel to PM me if you have any questions.
Cheers,
Elinor
Hi@Elinor.
First of all thank you for reviewing my piece of work and for the warm welcome.
I am having a great time here.
I am so glad that you enjoyed reading my work.
I wanted to keep it short and impactful. If I rewrite it, I would follow your advice of giving hypothetical example and making my piece of work a little longer.
I like the idea of hypothetical example.
I would improve the spacing and punctuation part as well.
Surely, I will PM you if I have any queries.
Thank you so much for the appreciation you have given and I will improve the mistakes you have pointed out.
From: Bhavya
Hi, Bhavya di .Ur writing was amazing !u are absolutely right on the point of deserving rights!
I am very much inspired by your writing . i will keep supporting u and i hope u will also do the same. please read on my new horror story ! THE MOST CREEPY NIGHT .....
hi @sulgana.
A warm welcome to you at YWS. I hope you have a lovely time here.
I was shocked when I saw "di" . Then I realized you belong to my own land...
Thank you for the appreciation for my work.
I WILL SUPPORT YOU DO NOT WORRY !!
I will soon review your work for sure.
best wishes from : BHAVYA
You are lovely,Bhavya Di !
Hello! I believe this entry is amazing. (Also happy women's day.)
Luckily, in my lifetime of being a girl, I have never experienced anything like discrimination or harassment because of my gender but I know many girls out there do and have to face it everyday.
I think this piece was very inspiring in the fact that any women reading this can feel power coming from the words as they realize that they ARE worth it, they ARE amazing and every woman/girl deserves love, support, and affection.
And as for your last statement, while I do agree that women should be celebrated for who they are everyday, I do not agree with taking away the date of the holiday. It would be the same as taking away mothers day because "It needs to be celebrated everyday."
Again, awesome entry, very inspiring.
Keep up the great work and keep writing from the heart.
Hi@Knight731. Thank you for the review and happy women's day to you too.
I am also lucky that I also did not face any discrimination or harassment. I wrote this from point of view of all the women.
thank you for all the LOVE OVER MY WORK.
I respect your opinion regarding women's day holiday.
my point of view was that we must not make it a one day event And I feel women's must be celebrated with same spirit everyday.I am not against taking away the day that is why I WROTE
LET US UNCELEBRATE THIS YEAR.
Thank you so much for showering all the love over my work...
And I PROMISE TO KEEP WRITING FROM HEART AS ALWAYS...
Thanks a lot again
FROM BHAVYA.