Keep walking

by BhavyaMehta123

Published November 1, 2022

E - Everyone

In Article<

Years pass,

You grow and then you look back...

When did this pass? 

I was a struggling high schooler yesterday,

When did I become so strong? 

It did not happen in a day, 

You built yourself day in and out.

Many seasons came and many seas tired your way,

You encountered and swam them all.

Today you might be looking back in awe!

But it is you who made it.

With every chance and opportunity that came, you gave your best.

~keep walking~

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Aislynn
Review
Aislynn wrote a review Review · Dec 16, 2022

Hi BhavyaMehta123!

This is so short and sweet! I love the meaning behind it.

I love the subject here! Time passing is usually scary, but this has such a nonchalant tone to it. It's comforting to me in a way! The narrator does seem nervous at first, but they start to ease up over the course of the poem. That says a lot about people in general! Especially when someone goes from childhood to young adulthood.

I love the simplistic imagery as well! The meaning isn't hidden by any metaphors or overly descriptive language. It adds to the straightforwardness.

I think that there could be more imagery here though! There's a lot of motivation directed towards someone, presumably the reader. I like that a lot! I do think that you could set the scene a bit more! Describe time passing and how it affects people maybe! Or continue with the idea of someone looking back and regretting it.

Lastly, I enjoy the versatility of this. It can be read as someone encouraging someone else, or you encouraging yourself. I think that's such a good energy to have! I love when poetry has lots of positive vibes! I do think that you should stick to just one of those ideas throughout though. It starts out as you talking to your previous self, but then it changes into being directed to someone else. It's a little confusing to me!

I'm glad you gave poetry a try though! <3

— Solstice

Thank you so much for such a lovely and insightful review. Thank you for all the encouragement and support. Means a lot <333

User avatar
alliyah
Comment
alliyah commented Comment · Nov 11, 2022

I really like this one. Keep walking, & keep writing! <3

Thank you so very much for your comment. It means so much. :D <3333

crescentmoonprodigy wrote a review Review · Nov 1, 2022

I love how simple this starts out, but slowly grows to be more complex as time goes on. I think it is the perfect way to reflect the passage of time, and as how we grow older, we get to be stronger and our scope of the outside world gets to be larger and larger as we change. Sometimes, admittedly, it can be difficult to be positive when the world is still in shambles, but this piece gives the reader a sense of hope and pride over the fact that they have made it as far as they did, and that its always possible to keep on progressing and becoming a better version of yourself if you just give yourself a chance. My favorite stanza is this one;

"When did I become so strong?

It did not happen in a day,

You built yourself day in and out.

Many seasons came and many seas tired your way,

You encountered and swam them all."

This is absolutely fantastic - for a first time trying your hand at poetry, I think you knocked this out of the park.


XX,

moon

Thank you so much for this absolutely wonderful review. My second poetry here :) although. Not a very poetic person but trying my hand and this review of yours will keeping me going. You shared your insight, your favourite lines thank you so much <3333
Most importantly I am so glad you enjoyed this. :D
Thank you so much !!!



“Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine. I couldn't get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.”
— Richard Siken