Young Writers Society

Hi,
Sunlight Warrior here with a review! What an intriguing poem you have written here! The conflicting narrative that you have employed is very effective - you encapture the narrator contemplating in a very relatable manner, therefore making it something that we as the audience can relate with. My favourite line is "Draw the line" - you provide themes of acceptance, adaptation and adjustment, something which is hardwired within our natural nature. All of us are humans who have flaws, and we're designed to learn and grow as each day passes. In terms of elaboration maybe you could add:

Criticism is not vain,
Don't let your mind cause you pain,
It doesn't mean that you failed.
It just means that maybe... definitely you should try again,
Each day is a new chance to rediscover your name,
But, but... Draw the line let no one pull you or your respect down,
And understand it shouldn't let you drown,
We're given one chance to make ourselves known,
Why let it all go?
Where you can be the person centre stage on the show?

Well done and please keep writing!

Hello there!

I think most of my comments will focus on the same area, so I'll just go right into it~

It just means that maybe... definitely you should try again,

It just means that maybe definitely you should try again

But, but... Draw the line let no one pull you or your respect down,

And understand it shouldn't let you drown.

This was a fabulous first poem haha! I have also never written anything I consider poetic.

I love that you wrote about criticism!
The word you used were perfect!

“And it makes you stronger.”
I liked how you notice that with criticism it builds up your knowledge!
I absolutely agree with this line, I have learned so much with being criticized, and am still learning many things from criticism.

“And understand it shouldn’t let you drown.”
This was an awesome way to end your poem, I love the word drown and how you used it.

Nothing was bad about this poem it might need some smoothing here and there but overall it was a powerful poem.

~slubbs

Criticism is absolutely key! It's a lovely response to a work, because, contrary to popular belief, it isn't just about talking about the faults of a work. Rather, it focuses on the positives and hints at how one can turn their weaknesses into strength! And to accept criticism is a wonderful thing. As you said as well, a line needs to be drawn. Some critiques are made in good faith. Others, not so much. Sifting through and determining which is which is vital to improving as an artist in any craft.