Run

by dasiamari

Published July 29, 2012

In songs

I'm running
running away away now
Lay down my fears
leave them behind
build up a wall
I can't peek behind.

Chorus
I've never been much of a runner
Always stood up to the fight
I've never been much of a quiter
I always tried 'till I got it right.
But the blows
and the pain
my knees go weak
my head goes light and I fall.
and I quit
then I run.
_________________________________

I truely thought you'd never be
the one to break me.
I out smarted you with wit
but you out fought me with
your fist.
I hope your proud
you knocked me down
And now I run.

I was a wild horse
I was an untamed beast
But you were the man with
the whip and
the fist
and the gun.
You made me run.

Chorus
I've never been much of a runner
Always stood up to the fight
I've never been much of a quiter
I always tried 'till I got it right.
But the blows
and the pain
my knees go weak
my head goes light and I fall.
and I quit
then I run.
_________________________________

My wall it seems high enough
you can't climb
but would you try?
My wall seem long enough
you can't see behind
But what if you try?

So I build it higher
so I build it longer
but others try and get in.
And my wall
it falls
so I run.
Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
KatKage
Review
KatKage wrote a review Review · Aug 13, 2012

This song is amazing ^^ But I agree with WAW that you could state genre and speed at the top, so we could see if the lyric would flow with the speed ^u^

But seriously, this is good ^^ I like the message, cause everyone can relate to it ^^ I like how you describe the the breaking down with breaking a wild horse ^^ It makes it easier to relate too, while we still know what to relate too, you know what I mean? ^u^

Please, I want to hear thislaloud ^^ It would be totally awesome ^^

Keep Writing! ^u^

wordsandwishes wrote a review Review · Aug 13, 2012

I like this song, and I too, would like to see it a little longer. But the song would still be okay if you didn't.
So, I didn't see any notable problems in this. I really really like your chorus and your message. But I feel you could help our readers connect with it more if you stated these two things at the top:
Type-country, rock, opera, etc.
Tempo-fast or slow.
I think it would give the reader a better idea of how the song would sound. It's just a suggestion though.
My rating: 4.8*s
My favourite part:

" So I build it higher
so I build it longer
but the others try to get in.
And my wall
it falls
so I run."

Keep writing and sharing!

w&w

User avatar
ImHero
Review
ImHero wrote a review Review · Jul 29, 2012

I like it, not a bunch to it. It would be a very short song. I would like to see if you actually made it longer, what it would look like. The wall thing is a little cliche' but you add some originality to it, so its not that bad.

Chorus
I've never been much of a runner
Always stood up to the fight
I've never been much of a quiter
I always tried 'till I got it right.
But the blows
and the pain
my knees go weak
my head goes light and I fall.
and I quit
then I run.

You need one more line I think, just in my head I cant transition to the second verse.

I truely thought you'd never be
the one to break me.
I out smarted you with wit
but you out fought me with
your fist.
I hope your proud
you knocked me down
And now I run.


See now I liked your first two verses, and I can quite sing this in my head. It would all be about how you go with it but I would pay attention to the flow here.



I wonder if people felt the freedom in our culture to love louder, if they'd be quicker to say "I miss you" when the absence of someone is felt instead of just thinking it.
— soundofmind