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139,521 Literary Works • 672,596 Reviews
XD Dasia! I'm glad you didn't really leave us! I'd have missed reading your work. You should've PM'd me when you posted! <3333
Build on what you have!
BUT. Because I am, I'm totes going to review this. I actually had to look up Movellas 'cause I've never heard of them. xD I'm sure members of Movellas have to do the same thing about YWS, though. So no hard feelings, ja?
Also, thank goodness for Nate!
Now, I think it's the linebreaks that are screwing up with my brainz, but I feel like it's all very clunky and... well. Not smooth, lol. That's really my main complaint! It was hard to follow, and I'm hoping it's not sang like the lines are broken!
I think a little hint as to what Movellas/YWS is would be helpful. Just to indicate what the work is or how the community acts. Very small teasers that wouldn't clutter the song, of course.
Also, possibly more verse and less refrain? Or just more verse. More story! What other effects did this emptiness have on you? This being-ignored thing will have affected your life in many ways. In fact, maybe the speaker cried from being ignored! Things like that.
But that's alllll. It just kinda makes me sad that YWS was at a low but happy that you're still here and all the emotions. ALL THE FEELS. Anyhow. Well done! I look forward to even more work from you. Don't let me down!
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!