The waters for fighters
and stone cold survivors.
Swim back,
before its too late.
I understand
your grown, and
you have to learn how to
stand on your own.
Chorus.
_________
But do you have to jump
in head first?
You'll drown
babygirl.
Your still soft
let me teach you the ropes.
Take it one stroke
at a time.
__________
The waters rough
and you jumpin' first
doesn't make it calm.
I get that you
just wanna do it your
own way, hey
Chorus 1x
Take your time
take your time
you'll learn to survive baby girl.
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139,521 Literary Works • 672,596 Reviews
Hey
I like the flow of this song, it works pretty well. Also the theme is good- admittedly its verging on cliche but I think thats okay.There were some grammar problems which detracted from it a little: This part was a bit confusing
I think its the "your grown" that's the trouble.. "You've grown" would make a bit more sense, or maybe you meant "you're grown".
Okay I know I said the theme wasn't cliche but there are little parts that are just a little. First of all my problem with this is more the fact that I don't understand it, why are survivors "stone cold"? However I liked you're opening line, "The water's for fighters". Also "babygirl" I have a huge dislike of using this word in songs, however maybe thats just me. And , I'm not sure about this line, is it supposed to have a nautical theme, as in ropes on a boat? I've heard the expression but I just think you can do better than to use already used expressions- make your own up!
Otherwise it was good, as you can see I'm a little confused about most parts and weather i think they need to be changed or not- this would ultimately depend on if it sounds good with the music.. Keep writing!