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142,240 Literary Works • 677,069 Reviews
It sounds more of like a Taylor Swift song to me. I love how you added the touch of literature there. It is indeed good. This part is what I like the most. It's image-rich and lovely ::::
"The war still rages on
But we'll be happy here.
In our little place
Can here, that happy laughter
Of our new baby boy?
He'll have my hair
He'll have his fathers eyes.:
I really like this. I loved the opening and the idea of them living happily ever after. I loved the passion of the racing and the running and how they seemed so desperate to be together. Then it changes. Suddenly they aren't dreaming about it but living out what hasn't happened yet. Then out of nowhere superman and lois lane stop by. I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing. Hope this was helpful.