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E - Everyone

The Thing We All Go Through

by Dracula

"Mum!" I bounded into the house, holding up the pink envelope I'd just pulled out of the mail box. "Someone sent me a Valentine!" I ran into the kitchen and thrust the paper into her face.

"How nice!" She said, beaming as she pushed the card away from her eyes. "Who's your secret admirer?"

That one question prompted the most detailed investigation in the history of my life; eleven years.

Instantly I went into my bedroom and grabbed the phone. "Someone sent me a Valentine!" I squeled into the speaker, staring at the envelope. "Do you know if anyone likes me?"

My friend hummed to herself on the other end of the line for a minute. "Well I've thought about it, and the only possible guy is Matty Frigson."

"Batty Matty?" I wondered if I still wanted the Valentine. Yes; Batty Matty was better than no one.

"What does it say inside?" I realised that I hadn't actually opened it. I told my friend to gimme a sec and used my nail to rip open the envelope.

"Oh. It couldn't be Matty, this writing is way too neat." I read the card. "It says 'To a wonderful girl on Valentine's Day'. But that's all."

"Hmm. Neat writing you say? What about the newspaper boy, he writes neat doesn't he?"

I thought over the possibility. "He would be able to place the Valentine in my letterbox without anyone being suspicious."

"It's got to be him!" My friend said, and excused herself for lunch.

The next morning I sat on the front lawn with the card in my pocket, deciding what I would ask the newspaper boy to secretly find out if he was my admirer.

When he came along and put a paper in my letterbox, I stood up. "You came by yesterday, but didn't leave a newspaper. Did your forget?"

He shook his head. "No way did I come by on a Sunday. I ain't missing out on my cartoons."

I bit my tongue in frustration. "So it wasn't you who left the card?" He laughed and walked away.

I sat there, trying to figure out who could have left my Valentine. My neighbours were all too old, and my friend had confirmed that no one at school had written it. "Who has neat handwriting, isn't my neighbour and doesn't go to my school?" I thought out loud. "My secret admirer has to be the son of one of dad's colleagues!"

I caught my dad just before he went to work. "Do you know if any of your work mates have kids?"

"Looking for friends, are we?" He smiled. "Well, there's Lilly, she's eight. But no one else at work has kids. Except me of course." Dad ruffled my hair. "Would you like to visit Lilly one day?"

"No thank you." I walked away, frustrated. Who was my secret admirer? There were no possible suspects left!

I entered the house and went to the fridge to grab a juice box. I froze. There on the fridge was the shopping list, and it was written in the exact same handwriting as my Valentine.

"Mum!" I yelled, and she ran into the room as if the house was fire.

"What is it, honey? Did something happen?"

I pulled the pink envelope out of my pocket and held it up. "Are you my secret admirer?"

A gigantic grin engulfed mum's face and she opened her arms wide like she was expecting a big hug. "Yes!"

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155 Reviews

Points: 1618
Reviews: 155

Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:09 am
Prokaryote says...

corny beyond belief -- the sort of thing that actually happens, weepingly, but no one would be silly-putty soft enough to bother putting into words except as a way to textually roll one's eyes.

either this is a joke, or you're unique.

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16 Reviews

Points: 754
Reviews: 16

Mon Feb 16, 2015 8:15 pm
FromWithin wrote a review...

Hello :)

Well that's a lovely little piece isn't it ? :D Fits perfectly for the theme of Valentine's Day, yet you managed to make it original.The ending was a surprise!

It was a pleasure to read, since the style is very simple. Yet you have some nice phrases in there !The flow is great, which makes your little story coherent.

The actual story itself is too adorable :D You managed to display the family love perfectly :)

Good job !

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269 Reviews

Points: 208
Reviews: 269

Sun Feb 15, 2015 6:50 am
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Gravity wrote a review...

Heya, Gravity here for a short review.

Story of my life. This was really funny and very humorous. I loved that your MC was only 11, it made the story very cute and very endearing. The only thing I would say is that a little more character development would be nice both on the MC and other characters. But at the same time, I get why you wouldn't do that because you want this situation to be easily flexible and applicable to our own lives so the reader can relate to it more. Still, very humorous. Great job.


Dracula says...

Thank you! :D

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14 Reviews

Points: 813
Reviews: 14

Sun Feb 15, 2015 3:04 am
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angelwing12 wrote a review...

This was a sweet piece! I like how it demonstrates her suspense and it also shows the love of the mother. However I do wish you would have used a bit more description. Did she get butterflies in her stomach? How did her excitement feel? Even describe what the card looked like instead of just what it said. What did the boys look like that she thought liked her. Why is Matty Frigson called Batty Matty?
I feel even the smallest of descriptions could make the difference. Did she stroke the envelope? What about texture of the envelope?

Dracula says...

Thanks for the review! I'm not sure if I'll get around to editing this, but if I do I'll definitely add more description.

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58 Reviews

Points: 412
Reviews: 58

Sun Feb 15, 2015 1:02 am
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Charizard821 wrote a review...

Now, in this situation, what would I do...? Well, I would probably FREAK OUT! Getting my hopes up like that would not be appreciated. XD Then again, I guess I have nothing to complain about, I already have my Valentine. Oh, yes, your story! I thought it was fantastic! A perfect representation of a kid's Valentine's Day! No grammar or sentence fluency issues, just really good writing. Literary Spotlight for sure, I'm calling it. Happy Valentine's Day!

Dracula says...

Thank you for the review! I'm glad you liked it. :D

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75 Reviews

Points: 235
Reviews: 75

Sat Feb 14, 2015 11:10 pm
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summerlovee wrote a review...

Hello! Can I just start by saying that this is so close what happened to me yesterday (or today if you're in a different time zone, except my mum didn't pretend to be me valentine she just gave me a rose. Sigh...the struggles :P I love the light and humorous style/flow of this, it was a good and fun read! My favourite line would have to be "she opened her arms wide like she was expecting a big hug" it perfectly summed up the Mum's caring manner towards her teenage daughter while also being clueless ^^
Thank you for sharing this!

Dracula says...

Thanks for reviewing! I've made a mental note that I will never give a Valentine's card to my kids, or if I do I'll at least sign it.

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.
— Joseph Campbell