Defiance

Hey there! Cailey here from the Green Lantern world to give you a Review Day review.

I love this poem and all the emotion that comes out of it. I always feel like poetry should be full of emotions and should make you feel and think, and this one did that really well.

I think this might be easier to read if you break it up into stanzas rather than just one big chunk. I'm not sure where you would be best to split it up, maybe right before "There's a war"

Also, you've got some punctuation, but not enough. There are some places where I think a comma would make it easier to read and easier to understand. So maybe go back through and read it over a few more times and see if you can work on the punctuation a bit more.
Along with that you have some typos and some awkwardly worded sentences that shouldn't be too hard to catch and fix.

I love the ending lines, you did such a great job of tying all of this together in the end. Maybe you could add some more concrete details, but even if you didn't I think this would still be good. So, congratulations, and keep writing!

I hope you don't mind if I review your poem.

Wow, that was really an excellent poem. I agree with HomeschooledTeen in that I don't really want to say anything negative, and it's hard to find anything negative about this poem. There is the word 'grief' that you misspelled, but other than that, I can't find many mistakes.

So I shall dwell instead on the positive!

The message of this poem seems really intriguing. You seem to have gone through something that really challenged you personally, and it translated into an absolutely beautiful poem. The imagery is very intense, and I particularly liked the stark image of the dead cat in the yard. The poem is very dark, but it carries with it an ultimate message of transcending darkness no matter how painful it may be. That's an absolutely beautiful message.

Once again, you did a great job with this poem. Keep writing! I hope to read more of your work!

Wow. I almost don't want to review this at the thought of not being able to do it justice. It seems incredibly personal, and I really don't want to say anything negative about it.

It's wonderfully written, and you get it, you know? You understand, you know what you're talking about, you're not just another author (or poet, I suppose) writing because you can write it. You know this inside and out, and that shows, and adds to the wonderful character that this poem has.

There really is nothing to correct here, except that in Line 4, you did misspell the word "grief". ('I' before 'E' except after 'C' or when it sounds like 'A' as in neighbor or weigh." Other than that, perfect use of grammar.

Wow. I really can't think of anything else to say that will do it justice.

Oh, that's right, I almost forgot. My favorite line(s) are:

"Lies bother me well

I guess that explains the curiosity and

the dead cat in our backyard."

I thought it was a nice twist on the common saying.

Anywho, that's all I have to say. For now. *evil laugh*.

Happy Writing!
HT