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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Awesome
I agree, we are all insane.
My review:
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On the first stanza,
Do you think, "What is logic? What is reason?" would have sounded better? The way you put it is very odd, and personally sounds very strange and sort-of chopped. It sounds very uneven when it is worded like that.
Also, the "I say to you" sounds odd in it's placement.
The comma after 'reality' is not necessary, and personally I think it would sound better without.
These are beautifully rhymed! Wonderfully done!
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Overall I love it, it has a few strange spots where the rhyming gets somewhat choppy. Other than that, it is a beautiful poem.
Great job!!
~Rainn
This is a rather very true poem!! Well, anyway it was a good one and whatever you said it is all very true. However you might want to change the get up of the poem like removing the quotation marks for instance and the part where you describe who is saying can be italicized since there are very few of those kinds of lines. And with all those quotation marks the poem becomes a bit distracting like you cant read it at one go and have to retrace your steps many times. And that single line of we know nothing, it looks a bit left out however you can also give the main focus on it by maybe writing it in bold or something. The rest of the things are good I think and this poem has everything it needs. Good Work and Keep it up.
I really enjoyed this poem, it was quite different, and slightly amusing. I think my favorite line was "Our very reality, is illusion, of what we think and know." Very true. Overall, it was a rather philosophical piece. I enjoyed it.
Very creative poem! And true! I also agree with considering taking out the quotation marks because I think it took away from the poem and was a little distracting. The poem is quirky and witty and quite frankly, amusing. My favorite line?
"Our reason is an ointment,
to heal uncommon sense."
Maybe revise some lines with different word choice so it flows better, but really cool poem!
Hi wordsandwishes, I love this poem, it made me laugh! I realise that this is spoken, but I don't think there is any need for the speech marks. Perhaps, is you really wanted them in, you could have 'I say to you' at the start and then just two speech marks - one at the start of the second line and then another at the end. I think the title is a good one but I think it gives away too much of the poem. Perhaps it would be better if you chose another line that you liked from the poem that was closer to the start? I like the rhyming pattern although it does not always follow so perhaps you could try and make it a bit more logical... Overall though, I love the ideas you potray and I think you put a very strong and true meaning accross. Well done wordsandwishes!