Ribbon Glass

This is absolutely beautiful. So, was the doll once a girl? And she chose to be perfect and undying just so she could live forever? Can she even speak? Still good work, it got me thinking.

Hello there, so at first i was thinking this was a reflective piece maybe about how a girl looks in the mirror, how she feels? and i was going to say it seemed cliche, and as i kept reading i noticed that you have a great way of using simplicity as your key hook into grabbing the readers attention. the last two lines "What are you when you are so afraid of death that you refuse to live?" are my favorite, i would try to add an continuance to this piece because leaving the reader in this point of, why are you afraid? what does that fear do to you? is irritating you are very talented and i urge you to keep writing, you obviously have a great knack for it

i like the use of varying sentance lengths. you used alot of "advanced" words something i dont see in works very often. you seem to know what you"re doing and have a very vivid imagination and make it easy for the reader to connect and see what you saw while writing this peice. i didnt see many mistakes, if i saw any at all, but dont take my word for it, im not one who notices that kind of thing alot. but all in all, this is a good peice of writing.

I felt inspired and uplifted to improve my own writing by readingy the message. The message here was clear, which is always imperative.

Now to dive in-this poem is full of lovely great descriptive language. You used some phrases here that really added to the work.

My favorite was the last two lines.

've gotta say this poem is very beautiful. You have made use of language artfully and I was able to get some great mental images.

I felt inspired and uplifted to improve my own writing by readingy the message. The message here was clear, which is always imperative.

Hi there... Well first off I love this.

I felt inspired and uplifted to improve my own writing by readingy the message. The message here was clear, which is always imperative.

Now to dive in-this poem is full of lovely great descriptive language. You used some phrases here that really added to the work.

My favorite was the last two lines.

That really tied it in.

I'm sorry I don't really have any criticisms here, if that's what you were.looking for. But what I found here is seemingly not needing much repair that wasn't already covered.

I've gotta say this poem is very beautiful. You have made use of language artfully and I was able to get some great mental images. I agree with the reader below in that I think a rhyme scheme could be beneficial (it would make it into sort of an eerie nursery rhyme). The reviewer below is also correct in that you need to end your lines with commas when they are not ended with a period. I would also try and make each section the same length (same amount of lines before the period).
Happy Writing!

I've gotta say this poem is very beautiful. You have made use of language artfully and I was able to get some great mental images. I agree with the reader below in that I think a rhyme scheme could be beneficial (it would make it into sort of an eerie nursery rhyme). The reviewer below is also correct in that you need to end your lines with commas when they are not ended with a period. I would also try and make each section the same length (same amount of lines before the period).
Happy Writing!

ok..ok...ok. Well, i've read some pretty good poems today and this can surely count as one of them. But it has some few problems that worry me. Note that it's only something i thought could help.
Well, firstly, i think you could use with a little rhyming because it would have taken the attention of readers. The truth is that most people like rhymes because it brings some harmony along with it.
Plus there's something else i learned. It's that you should try to end a line with either full stop or comma.
Well, like i said, am not an expert but i'd have loved to see it better.