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140,766 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
I loved your personification of the sun and of the soul. It was like the poem was setting a scene and that the scene wasn't even starting to take form. I would enjoy it to be longer but I can't always get what I want. If I wanted to I would read over and over again because it was so amazing in many ways I can't describe. I really enjoyed this a lot so keep writing because I want to read more.
I like this, it's short but still holds your attention very well.
It's kind of a mystry, i can't figure out what the message or meaning behind the poem is, but it is still very good. I love the choice of words too.
You wrote this really well, i enjoyed it lots and look forward to reading more of your work.
Well done. Good luck.
-Clarity
Hello there.
I found the title interesting. xD Look at my username, and you'll know one of the reasons why. lol Another reason is that it gives a sense of mystery. 
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- You got a typo there: 'journey'
I found no other mistakes other than that.
About the change in the rhyme in the third stanza, I think it's interesting and does not make the poem bad. It makes me think/assume that there is emphasis in the stanza or simply something different in it other than the rhyme. Or perhaps it is just a rhyming pattern you made on your own: a a, a a, b b, a a. Well, like I said earlier, the poem is interesting, and I think this different form of poetry makes it more interesting and unique than other poems.
One more thing: the simplicity of the wording and the conciseness of the lines make it consistent with the title, and this helps stir the reader's imagination.
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I hope this review isn't too long, repetitive, and boring. lol What makes it funnier is the fact that the poem is so short, haha! I hope I didn't overanalyze. Well, maybe, the fact that this short of a poem of yours caused my mind to stir makes it great.
Never stop writing!
Hello W&W
For a poem so short, it was well written. It has so much story behind it that the poem becomes a mystery. But I suggest you should keep the same rhyming pattern like the first two sentences because I think it'll flow a bit better. Overall, it was a lovely poem. Keep up the great work ^_^
Hello W&W
For a poem so short, it was well written. It has so much story behind it that the poem becomes a mystery. But I suggest you should keep the same rhyming pattern like the first two sentences because I think it'll flow a bit better. Overall, it was a lovely poem. Keep up the great work ^_^
Hello again, W&W!
I like the way this whole thing fits together. Your flow is very nicely done. One thing I will say is....
"A night so far away,
The moon; it shines half dark.
A soul has gone astray,
At midnight sings the lark."
The way you started your rhyming here is wonderful, but then on the last two stanzas you suddenly change the scheme. I think it would sound better if you did the bottom two like the top.
Keep it up!
~Rainn
I think you did a great job with this poem. I usaully hate poems that rhyme, but this was good. the flow was nice and. i do agree with what Heather said though. I was staring to get into when i was cut short by the ending.
"A soul has gone astray,
At midnight sings the lark"
I love the sounds that some birds make, so this was mt favorite part.
All in all this was a good poem. Just make it longer and keep writing.
This is written so well! The imagery and the word choice is amazing! I personally think you should make it longer though.. it's like right as i was really really into it, it was over.. so i think you should add to it..but overall great job!!
Sorry about that; I'm not sure how I would add onto this...But I could make a follow up poem
This Is a very good poem! I quite enjoy the word choice. It created an image of serenity. I just have one thing: you can elaborate easily to make this a story. This will help you not only become an even better writer, but it will also help you find yourself. I have in my writing. Anyway, well done, and I hope to see more of your work soon! Penner
Thank you!