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i wish you could hear my voice, even as i cry at my desktop

by yosh

i wish you could hear my voice, even as i cry at my desktop,
no, i’m not asking to hear yours, although i’d love to.
i just want you to hear me utter,
one sentence, one word, one syllable,
or maybe i’ll just be talking to the empty summer breeze,
like before.

i wish you could feel my hands, even as i bury my face in them,
no, i’m not asking to feel yours, although i'd love to,
i just selfishly want you to feel my warmth–
whatever's left of me, and realize,
that maybe, there's something valuable in the remnants of what
you left.

i wish you could see my eyes, even as i drown in my self-pity,
no, i'm not asking to see yours, although i'd love to,
i just want you to see this pain that you've given me i've given myself,
and then you'll comfort me, and all will be forgiven,
perhaps i still hope to cling to you, to forcefully take the joy that you've
given to another.

i wish you could give me what you took back, though i know it will only burden you,
after all, what is love but self-indulgence?
maybe beneath this myriad of tears that i've shed is only a greedy pig,
maybe humans should never feel warmth, lest we burn ourselves to ashes,
but i still would like you to see my smile
once more

i wish i could stand before you, perhaps then, we’ll see eye to eye,
and i might find closure, and we may part ways
but is it too much to hope for something real?
we can take off our masks and see the ugliness inside
and finally, perhaps i’ll stop shedding my tears at my desktop

i wish you could taste my pain, perhaps then i'll feel like i've gotten my revenge
i thought this was love? why are you now my enemy?
but then as i see you cry i begin to cry to myself
i thought this was love? why are we both in such pain?
but perhaps these tears are just fake, and i'm just crying
just so that you can see.

i wish
i could hear
your voice

just one last time,
even as i cry at my desktop,
burying my face in my hands,
drowning in my self-pity,
hiding behind this clever mask that i wear,

(perhaps then i'll remember what it was like?)
(to feel the empty summer breeze)
(and wish that time would stop)
(and nothing would change)
(and nothing mattered)
(it was just us)
(or just me)
(at least)

(but we both know there was nothing there at all)

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5 Reviews

Points: 241
Reviews: 5

Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:16 am
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Cage wrote a review...

Humans developed languages in order to express their thoughts and feelings. But, it had started to seem to me that these all words that we have created specifically for the task of human expression are worthless, because being able to make others “completely understand” your “deepest” and “most true feelings” with the “same intensity” that you feel them, was becoming quite an impossible task in this world. Quite ironic if you think about it.
But you have proven me wrong. You, with this poem, were able to deliver the truest of your feelings to me. That style of writing, that thoughtful striking out of phrases, simple words yet an impactful delivery, everything about your poem was just perfect. You have given me hope that it is still possible to express our deepest and most sincere thoughts through words, something which I myself aim for.
Lastly, I would like to tell you that you have gain an admirer of your poems, and who hopes that you keep on writing and keep on sharng some of your feelings with us.

yosh says...

omll thank you so much <33333

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28 Reviews

Points: 232
Reviews: 28

Fri Apr 07, 2023 12:42 am
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julia002 wrote a review...

oh my godddd. I wasn't expecting much from this honestly, but damn it hit home. Crossing out "you've given me" to "I've given myself" is so real oh my god. I feel like we as writers over-romanticize things and relationships, and in the end, it feels like our fault for being so hurt, or at least I feel that way. Wanting the person that you feel so much pain about to feel your pain and knowing that they definitely won't, makes it all so much worse. I just loved this whole poem, so beautifully written and personal. I mean every word, not just writing a review to write a review lol. I adored this!

yosh says...

thank you <3333

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57 Reviews

Points: 84
Reviews: 57

Thu Apr 06, 2023 10:54 pm
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TheCornDogEnthusiast wrote a review...

This piece of writing is an emotional and introspective expression of the speaker's longing for their lost love. The use of repetition throughout the poem reinforces the speaker's desire to be heard, seen, and understood by the person they are addressing. The imagery of crying at the desktop and burying their face in their hands creates a sense of isolation and despair, while the reference to the empty summer breeze evokes a bittersweet nostalgia for a happier time.

The speaker's conflicting emotions of anger, love, and self-doubt are portrayed through their wish to make their ex-partner feel their pain and the realization that this desire may be selfish and destructive. The use of rhetorical questions such as "why are you now my enemy?" and "why are we both in such pain?" suggests a struggle to make sense of the situation and come to terms with the loss.

The ending of the poem is ambiguous, with the speaker acknowledging that their love may have been one-sided and that there may have been nothing there at all. However, the final line's parenthetical statements hint at a wistful longing for what could have been and a reluctance to let go completely.

Overall, this is a poignant and thought-provoking piece of writing that effectively conveys the complex emotions of heartbreak and the struggle to move on.

yosh says...

thank you for the review!

Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
— Homer Simpson