the Philosophers and the Choir

you're my second favorite diabetic.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy beautiful! In kind of a creepy way.
I feel like this could have many meanings, but my first thought was a fight for some sort of social justice. Philosophers study nature of knowledge, reality, and existence. I think that the philosophers are progressivists here, trying to close away the silence and speak up to the reality. It confused me than how the voices are bad too, so the only thing i thought this could mean, along with the following line, is that with so many voices, we can't focus on one. everyone is fighting for something, so less people hear it? The choir is preaching, in a way like the philosophers, hoping for change, but also afraid to come back to reality. If the choir, -in my mind the fighters, - need the song in order to keep them together, for support. silence would mean no choir, no comradery.

anyway, you're too great at being vague and metaphorical! y interpretation is probably not what you meant, and I'm really interested to know what the real meaning is to you.

Love you,
-Poppy

Hey there summerinthecity. It's just lizzy stopping by for a quick review. Has anyone welcomed you to YWS? Anyways here is a welcome from me, so without further ado, let the reviewing begin.

Title
Let's start with the title because that is what prompted me to read your little poem. I must admit, I was first thrown off by the under case, but once reading I found the stylistic choice of this poem. Though it was the title that drew me in, the first line prompted me to read on. Moving on to my next point...

Story/Plot
The poem proved to be as interesting as it was confusing. You go from human voices being the disease to silence being the disease so I am guessing someone had a light bulb moment. Complete silence is just as bad as no silence I guess. I did like how the poem progressed from one point to another.
-Though the "singing" is annoying, it did stick with me long enough to mention it. If that was the point of that line, great job.

Grammar and Spelling
I myself am no the best authority when it comes to this, but I'll try my best for the sake of the team coach.
-After "place" in the second line a comma is needed. Without it the lines slide together to fast and ruins the mood you were setting.

Real quick, I have another comment. Where did you get the inspiration for this poem?

Besides those few points I didn't see anything else. I will be on my way now. Again, welcome to YWS and enjoy your stay.
-lizzy

Hi there, here with a review! Don't mind any of my nitpicking. You can do whatever you please with my opinions.
To start, I really enjoyed this poem. The title drew me in for sure, and the execution did not fail. I especially like the line, "steal every mumble, every murmur, every breathe and jam their ears full." It's very tasteful and rhythmic.

The lines that tripped me up on the rhythm a bit were:
"the Choir is singing and singing and singing

afraid to think where their minds might fall when the song ends"

They sort of stick out and I think they can be worded differently. For example, something like:
"the Choir is chanting and chanting and chanting," or "the Choir is humming and humming and humming." I'm just not a fan of "singing" in this instance. I think you can be more descriptive to keep the flow going.

As for the other line, it's worded a bit funky. It breaks up what you're trying to do and the flow of the poem in general.
Perhaps something like "Afraid to let their minds fall where the song ends," or "Afraid to let their minds wander with the song's end." Just throwing out some ideas, but I'd change up that line. Just play around with it.
The ending is good. It's concise and simple, following that favorite line of mine I pointed out (third from the end).
Overall, good job with this poem! It was a very enjoyable read!

Happy writing,

Kali L.