by bicycle

It's a good poem. The message is very clear and strong. You have very efficiently criticize the bad things (maybe it's a "Satire"). It's true that everyday we see millions of bad things yet we have kept our eyes close and are supporting these bad things. You have raised a good issue on which we need to concentrate. You have done a nice job. Keep it up Keep writing. and this piece of writing really caught my mind.

Mahvash.

Hi, I am Soulful to review your piece of literary work here ^.^

Review: I didn't really see anything wrong with your writing. The End.

Personal Opinion: Everything here is the truth. Sometimes, I wonder if we are supporting the wrong things and why do we seem to support the things that people careless about? I mean, desexualizing breats? How in the world do you end up doing that? Everything to me in this world is so messed up and the people...some of the people are just as messed up.

Good piece, keep writing.

Hi there.

First off, new to the site. This is the first thing I'm reviewing, so take that to mean what you want it to.

I'm going to focus on meaning rather than technicalities of this poem, since I think that is the most interesting feature.
I'd like to begin by praising the last stanza - it sounds wonderful. Even without fully understanding the meaning, I absolutely love it. It isn't quirky, and it isn't trying to shock or surprise anyone, both of which are qualities I'm personally sick of. It's a beautifully rounding phrase, and left me satisfied rather than in the talons of ambiguity. And in an age where every piece of writing seems to REQUIRE shock value, or a surprise, or a twist, or artificial wonder, this is a pleasing breath of fresh air.

The first thing I thought when I read this way too late last night was of newspapers. Looking back this afternoon, it quite clearly isn't, but the effect is still present I think. The mixup of modern and sensationalist ideas being overridden by traditional desires (ie, the violence being frowned upon unless is it deserved, or the sexualisation you mention) through an outdated medium (by newspaper, by bicycle) screams importance to me. That we are all stupid and we need to stop pretending to be clever. Rationality doesn't suit us.

But while this, I think, is what you are saying, the newspaper part is wrong. I'm sure of it.
While on surface value, the idea is extended - using bikes over cars perhaps? - the bicycle has a great deal of meaning behind it.

My favourite use of bicycle propaganda is in Patrick McGoohan's "The Prisoner", where a penny-farthing is a repeated image throughout the show, representing a progressional dead-end, and that human invention means essentially nothing. The bicycle, introduced when there were far more efficient methods of transport, shares a similar symbolism, and I think touches upon what you are trying to say with the final line.

Else, the bicycle is a childish vehicle, especially with stabilisers, and people are infantile always, which is much simpler and probably more likely.

Interested to hear your thoughts
-Kieren

This comment was the original review, but I forgot to submit it as one. I can't work out how to delete comments, so I've just edited it to this in the meantime. Sorry!

Hello, summerinthecity. I'm here to review your poem.

I can understand the situations that you give here. I understand that there is some kind of social commentary here. I am also confused. This is listed under humor, but I don't really think it's funny. Maybe I am not understanding some reference that I'm supposed to? The bicycle bit at the end was particularly perplexing.

I thought about it for quite a while, actually. If one spreads rhetoric by bicycle, does this mean that it's slowly? Bicycles are slower than cars. Or does it mean to point to door to door campaigns? Someone might ride a bicycle through a neighborhood if they wanted to hand out flyers. I see that the previous reviewer was quite confused as well (though I disagree with them on the capitalization front (you do you, boo)), so I suggest trying to flesh that part out a little. It's very open ended, and I don't think that it's working.

The repetition of "we are supportive" would work better if there were more lines between the repeated lines. In other words, I think you should make your stanzas longer and fewer. Focus on the stanzas that you think are the most important and elaborate on them. Then get rid of the stanzas that you can't really elaborate enough on. I think that is the way to get the repetition to function to the best of its ability. I used to love repetition, but for the most part I shun it now. To me, it is wasting words. But I understand its function in poetry, and that it works all right in this poem. I just think you should use it a tad more sparingly.

Throughout the whole thing, I am not sure that you are supporting or criticizing the things that you comment on. I think personal opinion in poetry is actually quite important, as it's such an experience based art form. Make sure you're making your opinion clear. Or maybe that's the point: that people don't actually have an opinion? In that case, make it clear that you think that. As it is, it kind of stagnates, and not in a good way. Make it go somewhere.

I don't really have much else to say. Overall, I liked the way you put this together, with the examples of what people are supportive of. I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy writing!

I can not say a lot about this work because I did not fully understood the meaning of this work so I would want you to explain it to me fully so I could actually think of what to say as my opinion.
Maybe using capital letters at the start of the new lines/sentences could be good also.Well,at least for me,It makes the poetry fuller and more complete if that makes sense.It is just more catchy for me to be honest.I do not like the same line at the end of each para but maybe you have a reason for it.

Overall,this work can be even better.Sorry that I could not say a lot..(just woke up)