small town checklist

railroad tracks crisscross across

the nation like

tiny bandages covering

a gaping scab on a knee                                                                                                                            

passenger cars slip away

into the folds of

the sawdust landscape

or boom towns                                                                                                                                            

the train whistle lingers

you wear it like earrings

or a birthmark

nestled, forgotten in the crook of your hip                                                                                                     

paper tickets belong to scrapbooks

glued down

instead of traveling between hands

conductor to passenger                                                                                                                                 

no crinkled dollar bills

are required to

lay pennies along the tracks

and watch train wheels squeeze them to ovals                                                                                                

or to extend arms

like a dancer/butterfly/tightrope-walker

and balance

soles of boots clinking against metal                                                                                                                

or to point out the graffiti

on the side of an abandoned box car

to a friend and

say you've seen it somewhere before                                                                                                                

small town america creeps

inside the neck of the city's sweater

into busy streets deserted at night

and corners lined with brick storefronts 

Comments & reviews · 2
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20JPorter Review

Hello! This is a good poem the perfectly reflects a small town. Trains do go all over the place and I love the tone of the poem. It makes you feel like you are in an old small town. The one main problem with this line: "like a dancer/butterfly/tightrope-walker" which breaks the aforementioned tone and is just plain annoying to try to read. Other than that, this is a good poem, and you should keep writing more. Keep up the good work!

Live Long and Write Prosperously
-20JPorter

Hey!

So, I really like the sad/nostalgic feel about this poem. Not capitalizing anything adds to this for me, and the incomplete sentences make it sound so longing... Great work, for sure. The title makes sense with the poem, so that was also very well done.

I only have two critiques, the first being that the slashes in "like a dancer/butterfly/tightrope-walker" sounded a little awkward to me. The rest of the poem is smooth, but this chops it up. Or maybe that's how you wanted it? I don't know. The second is just that the ending seemed a little abrupt. Maybe changing the word you used for "storefronts" would remedy this and give the poem more closure.

That's all I've got. Awesome job on this poem!
-Grace



A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
— Mark Twain