Girlish

Hey there. Jonathan here to review your poem!

Let me just start by saying how much I love this. This is beautiful, this is concise, this is a special kind of magic that proves why I decided to be a writer. You don't waste a word, you don't sacrifice a word. You let us into your mind from the real world and you do it in a way that feels like there's no transition at all. Really, really excellent.

Now, I know you're not trans, but I am. And I hope you don't mind me saying that as a trans man, I truly feel a connection to this piece. Now, I don't want to speak for your experiences at all but poetry, for me, is finding a piece of me in each piece and that 100% happened here. As a person who's felt uncomfortable with the physical "girlish" parts of me, but also wondering if I'm lying when hiding those with the "not-so-girlish" parts, I could feel myself in each stanza and each line and each word and each syllable and each letter. I've basically made this review about me now, but I just want to tell you how much this means to me as a fellow poet and fellow human.

I'm supposed to give you a suggestion here, but I don't think I have a specific one about this. So let me just say, broadly, the one bit about this poem that fell flat was the last line of the first stanza. "of myself" is a little awkward, but really it doesn't take away from the rest of your poem. Really, just a beautiful time. You're an amazing poet and I'm so impressed with this. Keep writing.

Jonathan

I really like this. I am also going to assume this has something to do with identifying as transgender. As a non-binary individual myself this really speaks to me because it said "girlish version". I felt as if the speaker has multiple sides to themselves gender wise (like me, hehe ^_^). They seem to be caught in between, trying to find their place on some sort of spectrum; trying to find their truth. The fact that they "wonder" makes it feel as if there is still a significant amount of discovery occurring in terms of their gender identity.

This is a very interesting state of mind, and to capture it in so few words is really great. This is how I interpreted the piece and of course interpretation happens on an individual basis but if you find this piece isn't really communicating the idea you want it to then you might want it to rework it a bit. However, if this is what you were going for I believe it was executed well.

It was short and sweet. The flow was nice. I didn't feel like there were any awkward moments in terms of rhythm as I read it through. However, I don't consider myself much of a poet so hopefully someone with a better background in that sense will give you a review.

Thus is Spartan here for an amazing review today so beer with me.
Well first I take it you are transgender and that's cool that you wrote about it a different thing on here. Well I like how the name of the poem and the poem itself go together so well. So like when you say not so girlish parts do you mean your um wing wang doodle. So I like your poem it's a first for this site that I have seen not to sure about it though so yea. I really hope you keep on writing and keep up the good work. I hope to see your future works. Have a wonderful day, evening, morning, or night.