Young Writers Society

Hello!

I came to review this poem, as the title got me interested pretty quickly. It's simple, but it sounds like something good. I feel like this poem is very abstract, and I would have to read it quite a few times to really grasp it, but nonetheless, I found it had mystery and I like that. Sometimes poems that have a set meaning feel a bit forced, but this one is easy to read, yet has meaning. It's very unique to what I have read before, and therefore feels refreshing. I think it's so original, and the last line was definitely my favourite.

Well done!

Hi spectator, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.

Title: The title to this poem is both intriguing and works with poem. The title Yellow Fog holds an element of mystery to it and invites the reader to come and read your work. Overall I'd say it was the perfect title.

Description: I really liked the description you put into this poem. It immediately gave me a crystal clear picture and I could see everything that was going on in the poem. I also loved the yellow theme that you weaved into the poem. It gave the poem a really Paris like feeling for me. (I have no idea why. )

Rhythm: The rhythm in the poem was great even though you didn't have rhyme scheme.

would feel better than melting gumdrops on my thighs,

I should have stuck to yellow fog,

First off, I love this poem. I feel as though the narrator is feeling relaxed. They feel different, and S/he doesn't want to talk about anything, doesn't want to think about anything other than the present. I get vibes of depression in the poem for some reason, and the feeling of escape. This review is messy, I know but I have a headache and can't seem to gather my thoughts coherently.

To begin with, I love the atmosphere of the poem. It feels, like you say, yellow. It is a moment set aside in time, a snapshot of a moment that will go on to pass, but for the moment - captured in a haze of cigarette smoke and a muted fire sunset - the world is at a kind of peace.
Who the narrators are, we don't know, but I see the sweat sticking their tank tops to backs nonetheless, nonchalantly above the exceptions of the future and anxieties of the past.
Needless to say, for the few words that are used, I myself get a very clear mental image.
The narrator feels disconnected from reality. They are speaking to another person - perhaps the boy they thought kissing would be better than it was - but yet, it's not to them, just *at* them. The narrator seems to be more talking to themselves than anyone else. It also feels like, whoever the narrator is together with, at this moment, their relationship will not last, just as a moment will not.
I am not sure what the 'yellow fog' was intended to mean, but the color yellow is evocative of both joy, sickness, summer, and anxiety. The feeling of being lost in time could mean that the yellow is the fog refers to the emotions in the outside world. Perhaps there is a better adjective to use there.
The dash in the second to last spaces out the timing and impact of the final word to good effect. While on rereads, it does make the timing clunky, as the sudden cut-off point is unlike the rest of the poem, it does lend the poem a conversational nature the metaphors of melting gumdrops do not.
Excuse me for the English class analysis. This poem felt like one one would analyse for English class. Take it as a compliment!