Can You Grasp It In Your Hand?

Knight Malachi here to review on this grand and glorious, not to mention too-close-for-comfort Review Day. Stay ahead blue team!!!!

You can feel the wind blow but, can you grasp it in your hand?
The comma needs to be after the but, not before it.

It simply isn't possible, every time I try I feel nothing in my hand.
you need either a period or semicolon instead of a comma here.

I feel it blow through my long curly brown hair on a cool day,
Perhaps try to use a different line than "I feel it blow" because you already had that at the beginning.

I just wonder what it looks like my mind races,
This line confuses me. If it is a thought it should be italicized, and you need a comma after the word like. If it was italic and messed up then i understand. That has happened to me as well.

Overall a nice picture or description of what the wind is, and how you can't really grasp it in your hand. I liked your line:
I feel it blow through my long curly brown hair on a cool day, I hear it howling on a frozen winter night, I see it moving the flowers in the spring and, I see it blow the leaves off their branches in the fall.
Really pretty pictures of all the seasons. Good job.
Keep it up!
Happy Review Day!!!!

Hey

Guess who is reviewing this submission for ya? ME! XD

Okay let's start shall we?

Starting with the title, it was really good. Now I have been seeing many titles and this one is one the amazing ones! I mean I was totally like "I have to read this after reading the title and after reading the poem I wanted to review

Plot was nice too. I enjoyed reading it and got your basic idea.

Your description was flawless!

Now as others have already done a great job in showing you your flaws and your amazing points in the poem I am going to go straight to this:

And my favorite stanza is!

"I feel nothing in my hand.
I look around me but,
I see nothing
though I suppose air isn't meant to be seen,
rather meant to be felt.

I feel it blow through my long curly brown hair on a cool day,
I hear it howling on a frozen winter night,
I see it moving the flowers in the spring and,
I see it blow the leaves off their branches in the fall."

That's all I have to say! keep on the good work and I bet you will be better than an amazing writer that you already are < 3

Umaima

Hello!

This is an excellent poem, I truly love it! However, I can't feel it inside, because the allignment is so boring. I can't feel it stir something in my heart when such a good poem is in paragraph form. Try editing it so it looks like this:

You can feel the wind blow but,
can you grasp it in your hand?
It simply isn't possible,
every time I try
I feel nothing in my hand.
I look around me but,
I see nothing
though I suppose air isn't meant to be seen,
rather meant to be felt.
I feel it blow through my long curly brown hair on a cool day,
I hear it howling on a frozen winter night,
I see it moving the flowers in the spring and,
I see it blow the leaves off their branches in the fall.
I try so very often to catch it in my hand,
I just wonder what it looks like my mind races,
I really want to know but I can not catch the wind.
So my question is
can you grasp it in your hand?

Yo, Soldier. I'm Lumi, and I believe that slaughter is the best medicine.

So you have this singular idea that, on its own, is cliche and has been explored a thousand different ways, probed, prodded, castrated, and left to die only to be trampled again in its sleep. For that, I beg of you to bring something fresh to the idea of the intangible wind. Despite my begging, though, you've given me nothing but further cliches. You don't deliver appropriate flow, imagery, nor ideas, and that leaves this piece needing complete rewriting--not because someone tells you so, but because you're better than this.

Let's dissect.

1. Hand count.

can you grasp it in your hand?

I feel nothing in my hand

I try so very often to catch it in my hand

can you grasp it in your hand?

I feel it blow through my long curly brown hair on a cool day, I hear it howling on a frozen winter night, I see it moving the flowers in the spring and, I see it blow the leaves off their branches in the fall.

Hey, here to review.
So this poem is really nice. I love the way describe all the things the wind can be seen doing. Like the part about blowing the leaves.

I feel it blow through my long curly brown hair on a cool day, I hear it howling on a frozen winter night, I see it moving the flowers in the spring and, I see it blow the leaves off their branches in the fall.

I love that part.
Now, you need to divide this poem into individual lines. I suspect you know what I mean, but her's an example in case you don't.

I feel it blow through my long curly brown hair on a cool day,
I hear it howling on a frozen winter night,
I see it moving the flowers in the spring and,
I see it blow the leaves off their branches in the fall.

Doing that really clears things up for the reader, allowing the reader to understand everything easier and making the flow much smoother. I really like the poem.
Keep it up!

Hi spacesoldier,here is Dark to give review on your poem.

I really like the way you point up the ideas here,it just so nice and meaningful to read here.I love how you use the literature styles here,and I think you have such a wide imagination and vocabulary here!

#You can feel the wind blow but, can you grasp it in your hand? It simply isn't possible, every time I try I feel nothing in my hand.-->This lines succeeds in influencing the reader to continue reading on the next lines.Good job here!

But there is a word that not suit with the meaning here:

#...brown hair on a cool* day-->Do you mean a cool day or cold day here?Because cool definition is not suit with the theme 'wind blow'.
Anyway,you doing a great job here,so keep it up!
Kudos,cheers
~Dark.

Wow! That's nice. Deep I must say.
Good job!

Regards.
Anouk