If
you my daughter be
Dark of hair and spirit of joy
Contained
within walls of deceit
Whose view of weapons a toy
Great
courage you shall soon need
A mother’s counsel you must
find
Deep within the Palace of greed
A cavern of rock and
water grind
Come
to me my child
That I might teach the way
A guide across
the wild
Towards the truth from decay
Your
memories you must recover
And will bring great pain
Yet
power wilt uncover
Restoring your mother’s name
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
*Wipes tears* Beautiful
Hello my dear friend it's me FlamingPhoenix with yet another review for you, though I didn't expect to be reviewing a poem, but nevertheless let's get it out the green room!
So when I was looking through the green room for the chapter you had posted my eyes landed on this poem, and boy did the name make come and read it. I haven't read the next chapter of your story yet, so I don't know if this fits in some where, but I'm now even more pumped for the next chapter.
Anyway I love how you open up this poem, with the motherly love, and the way you make it sound like she has passed away, and yet looks out for her child, it's very cute and sad at the same time.
I think for your first poem you have out done yourself! Really this is amazing, I just fell in love with this poem right away it was so good, The emotions were deep and they spoke to me, and i loved how you describe Kkachi for her mother's point of view in the beginning.
Now there is one line in this poem was has really got me going.
Now I really wonder what this could mean, and I have know clue what so ever, so I will be off to the next chapter of your book, and I will as always make sure to leave a review! Keep writing and give poetry ago again, because this was amazing, I just loved it. Have a great day or night.
Your friend and faithful reviewer
FlamingPhoenix!
Reviewing with a fiery passion!
Thanks Phoenix! Well it didn't really fit with the chapter once I edited it, but I had a lot of fun and wanted to share it with you. Thanks for being so encouraging (as always) and I'm really looking forward to what you think of the chapter!!!!
Oh okay I can understand that, but it still was a really good poem! I also look forward to the next chapter! XD
Hello I'm demoncat here to review this interesting poem.
And when I say interesting I do mean interesting I really enjoyed it. It kinda reminds me of like wonder woman, or Lord of the rings, or Harry Potter even. Something like that. It's like a poem version of an RPG. I just love the idea of valor that you get from reading this poem. It's really inspiring. And to put valor twards mother's is also a noble idea and that really made my heart warm. It's like when I read this poem, it was like reading an entire novel. It makes me think of magic, and dragons, and warriors. And we'll all the stuff I've grown up on. And that feeling is really comforting just like a mother's love. Wich is ironic seeing as how this poem is about mother's. And the wisdom they can give us. I truly enjoyed your poem. It was a splendid read and I would be thrilled to read more of your work. So please post more. Because I will read it. You should continue writing. Bye.
Thanks so much! Very encouraging to hear from you and I'm not a very good poet. This is my second poem, at least that I can remember and your feedback is so encouraging. Means an awful lot! Thanks
I did really love this poem though. So I think you are a wonderful poet.
Aw, thanks!