Broken heart and wasted tears,
Desperate voices no one hears,
The world’s been this cruel for years,
But the era of change nears.
All suffering and pain,
Tears falling like rain,
Wounds that cannot be healed,
Mouths that money has sealed.
But this will all change......
The truth will be revealed,
The real face behind the veil,
And some wounds will be healed,
The truth will be revealed.
The corrupt enjoyed the warmth of fire,
For so many years,
But they have got too near,
They will pay for those tears.
But the new change brings with it,
A new, strong war,
But the fire burning for revenge, has already been lit.
For revenge this fire’s burning,
For justice it is yearning,
The frightened will now be bold,
The truth will be told.
Change will come, it always has
It may either be good or bad.
But you never know,
What if the poor, once rich,
Become just like the ones before,
Corrupt.
I really liked this poem. I loved how it talked about change, and that something new was going to happen. I loved when it said "Change will come, it always has. It may either be good or bad." In my oppion everything we do and everything that happens, depends on perspective. It was very powerful, and it true. Destruction has to come before something new can be created. Your rhyming was very good. Overall this poem was great. Nice job!
This poem was a good read-powerful and emotive. I particularly enjoy the repeating motif of fire and tears, the contrast between the two working well to reflect the ferocity of protest against corruption, and the grief such movements and issues within society bring. It feels particularly poignant within the current climate of the world. The use of short sentences, and an erratic rhyme scheme is great for creating a sense of chaos, relating well to the mentions of war, revenge and corruption. Overall, a great job.
Hi rida, I am Buranko, ready to review your poem. I just came back to YWS and wanted some points, found this in Green Room, and enjoyed it so here I am, dropping some feedback.
This is a strong poem, on an emotional level. You produce some sense of patriotism, the will to change something, hate for the corrupt. That's because of the imagery in the first stanza. I saw some children crying, people of a country hungry and thirsty, all suffering. You make it as a battle cry, a war poem to encourage the people reading it.
The author carries on with encouraging invoking a change, presenting all of its advantages and the hidden truths of it. I didn't like one stanza "But the new change brings with it,/A new, strong war,/But the fire burning for revenge, has already been lit". Here you repeat "but" and it feels off. Maybe try to get rid of one, it contradicts your idea.
The ending is sooo good omg. I love the uncertainty and the doubt you create. It does raise the question what are we going to do after the revolution or something like that
Great poem, I loved reviewing it. Good job !
117,574 Literary Works • 636,745 Reviews
Points: 10714
Reviews: 122
Donate