The sun is black on my tongue-

Hey friend! This was such a lovely poem! I loved reading it. Let’s get right into the review:

to begin, I love how descriptive all of your poetry is. From such small descriptions, like the feeling on your tongue relating to pineapple your mother made. You really capture so much with these descriptions, which I love. I also love how you can apply these actions to figures in nature. For example, when you talk about cradling the sky in your hands. That is just so poetic and beautiful. It painted this entire picture in my mind that you don’t even need to use colors or sizes or locations to describe. And at the same time this emotional aspect as well. I would have to say my favorite line was this part:

nothing left, i open my mouth and let out the scorched sun,
the dead sky, the hollow mud, throw them together
in heaps until they look pretty enough together,
this is- this is- this one is me.
barren lands, empty mouths. i take in a breath
and watch myself.

Hey there, Sofie here with a review!

Wow, you did a great job on this. I really enjoyed the different imagery and symbolism you used. Right off the bat, the opening line really draws you in;

"like scorched pineapples my mother made,

glazed and burnt- just like that, it punches a hole

in my mouth. air where it shouldn’t be,"

I also love the repetition on the line; "dig and dig and dig until there is nothing beneath my feet.

Good job! Hope to read more from you soon!

This poem feels heavy with emotion, like there's something big happening. It talks about how the sun feels black on the speaker's tongue, which is a really vivid way to describe something that's hard to explain. The part about the scorched pineapples the speaker's mother made adds to this feeling of something being off or uncomfortable.

As the poem goes on, it seems like the speaker is grappling with some big feelings like greed, envy, and selfishness. They talk about feeling like they've taken too much and left nothing behind. It's like they're trying to make sense of their own actions and how they've affected everything around them.

The imagery in the poem is really powerful, like when the speaker digs at the earth and ends up with nothing beneath their feet. It's a really stark way to show how they're feeling empty and alone.

In the end, the speaker seems to be trying to come to terms with who they are and what they've done. It's like they're trying to find a way to accept themselves, even if they feel like they've messed everything up. It's a really deep and introspective poem that leaves you thinking.

GOOD Job. That was really good work