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New queen

by rida


I sat on the throne,                                                                                                                                     

A bit too roomy for me,                                                                                                                                

the jewels on my crown shone,                                                                                                              

too much attention for me.                  



everyone was so formal with me,                                                                                                          

I wasn’t used to being called ‘your majesty’,                              



I was expected to be all knowing, and wise,                                                                                          

I was put under pressure, it’s NOT nice,                                                                                                

So if you ever want to be queen, I give you this advice:                                                                        

back away! Run away as fast as mice.                  



Being a queen is so tough!                                                                                                                    

I see now that the road I foolishly chose is rough.    



I so wish I was back at home,  

                                                                       

Sitting on my couch, popcorn on my lap,                                                                      

watching a horror movie,                                    

or maybe taking a nap,                



So if you ever want to be queen, I give you this advice:                                

back away! Run away as fast as mice.                                                                               


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Thu Oct 15, 2020 5:37 pm
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Horisun wrote a review...



Hello, there! And congratulations on getting literary spotlight! I think this poem absolutely deserves it!
I love stories about the trials of leading people, and I love seeing how its not all that it's cracked up to be. I liked how it's a little bit informal, to bring home the fact that she doesn't want to be Queen, and how she doesn't fit the bill.
I do have a small critique, and it has to do with your rhyming scheme.
You had a lot of very clever patterns and rhymes here, however, I did notice that those patterns shifted a lot.
For example, at the very beginning, you start out with "I sat on the throne, a bit too roomy for me, the jewels on my crown shown, too much attention on me."
But at the end, it's shifted to, "Being a Queen is so tough, I see now that the road I foolishly chose is rough."
Now this might just be me, so take it with a grain of salt, but when patterns get shifted around like that, it can take a reader right out of the story.
That's a really small nitpick, though. I honestly adored this poem, and I think you did a great job!
Keep on writing, and have a wonderful day!




rida says...


Thank you so much! Glad you liked my poem! And I didn%u2019t know about that rhyming scheme part! I will be sure to keep it in mind next time!



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Wed Oct 14, 2020 3:53 pm
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Soccer23 wrote a review...



Great job! I think that that poem is very relatable to people born into fame. You rhymed it very well, a tad repetitive, which was good. I will say, this is probably somewhere along the lines of what I imagined, because every other little girl imagines what being a princess would be like, but i'm way to sporty and informal for servants, titles and dressed. Is that just me?? Anyway, great job visualizing what it would be like to be in royalty. I also like how you exaggerated on the concept by leading your readers to infer that the main character chose this path, and wasn't born into it, and is now regretting it. It's short, but meaningful, and I would say it's extremely well written. Nice Job!




rida says...


Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed my poem.



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Tue Oct 13, 2020 5:10 pm
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JeanBean_BC says...






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Tue Oct 13, 2020 5:08 pm
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JeanBean_BC says...



This is good. I'm 100% sure Elsa relates to this lol




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Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:00 pm
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I- this says something but I don't know what. It feels obvious but I don't think it is what I am thinking.




rida says...


Is it really that confusing?





No....I think you talking about someone. -3- I wish I knew who.




As if you were on fire from within. The moon lives in the lining of your skin.
— Pablo Neruda