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by myjaspercat


Have you ever met your soulmate but your soulmate didn't meet you?

Two hearts colliding but only one of them getting caught in the spiderwebs of the other?

It's devastating.

One person left with the yearning for the person they'll never have.

Tired hands sick of trying so hard to desperately grip for him.

Persistence is futile.

The end predetermined.

He's never gonna love me,

Or even know I exist.


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119 Reviews


Points: 10789
Reviews: 119

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Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:57 am
Clairia wrote a review...



Hello, there! Arden here to drop you a quick review.

I really took a fondness to this piece. The flow is flawless and I found it to be a very pleasant read. It did strike home a bit, as I've experienced this kind of feeling (just being human) and it's honestly saddening. Us as people always want some sort of happiness, and wanting to be with a partner to share that happiness with is truly a fantastic idea. (That's basically what love is.) What really gives that drop of sorrow in a sea of hope, though, is what you're covering in this poem. Fear of rejection, shyness, etc. All the things that could go wrong in the relationship you want to pursue, you're sure they've come crashing down on you. All because your love interest has no idea who you are. And that's one of the most sad and unfair concepts anyone could experince. Pure torture while your love interest is prancing around, oblivious to your feelings.
Overall, you have a fantastic way with words. This was a great read. You strung sentences together without worrying about rhymes. Your choices of words were really good and really well-thought out.
Keep writing, and thanks for sharing! I hope to see more from you soon.

Arden




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26 Reviews


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Reviews: 26

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Mon Nov 05, 2018 11:16 pm
sophies36 wrote a review...



Hi! Sophie here to review!
~
this is such a common feeling among people. The longing and loss caught within this is so much. the only thing is that I don't feel it enough. the metaphor is great but I want to feel it. the one person yearning part is such a sad part that the end of the story kind of revolves around it. I like this but I want more. just a few more lines of descriptive words of heart breakage. that would perfect this.
~
the ending is really good. its sad. its quick. it ends it with a sad left out note that hanging in the air.
~
overall its really good and relatable to many people. its written really well and flows well. good job and write on.




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26 Reviews


Points: 363
Reviews: 26

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Mon Nov 05, 2018 11:16 pm
sophies36 says...






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7 Reviews


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Mon Nov 05, 2018 2:57 pm
varada6467 says...



It's really a great and deep poetry.





"While we may come from different places and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one."
— Albus Dumbledore