Hello there! I'm here for a quick review.
First of all, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this. And I really enjoyed reading this...It reminded me of who I was before about two years ago...It was hard but I'm still here ain't I? So with that, I'd love to suggest a few things to you and finish today with a good deep sigh.
Suggestions
My mama doesn't know how to cry anymore,
she just sits there silently -a statue of immortality-
gripping my baby blanket, it's frayed edges laced around her fingers.
She's remembering my tiny fists balled into the fabric
dragging it behind me like a cape -of youthful protection-
wondering where she went wrong.
I suggest you use a comma instead of "-".
My twin is staring at a bottle of pills again
I think he's finally realized that I was able to do what he couldn't finish himself.
His mind wanders to that hospital room where I hugged him tightly
and whispered 'I love you' in his ear -those three words
cleansing him better than the iv in his arm.-
My older brother just hits everything now
his fists taking the damage he refuses to let his heart feel.
He was always to stubborn minded for his own good,
hopefully he can forgive me too.
"He was always to stubborn minded for his own good". "to" needs to be "too".
I suggest you use a comma after "hopefully".
However, suggestions are suggestions, please feel free to ignore these as you wish.
Thank you for writing this, you made my day!
Keep on writing!
Wish you the best,
Chris Calaid
Points: 10344
Reviews: 125
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