Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.
A whore, you called me,
A whore, I am.
You burnt my cares
Right where I stand.
The precious things,
You had them all,
You’ve thrown away
And watched me fall.
You hurt me in
The deepest ways
Now here are some things
I’d love to say;
All the time
Of you I think
When life hits hard
I’ve found the link.
Worse to me
Than the others,
The one you hate
I call a brother.
Your focus in life
Has been shown.
At least now
My heart is renowned.
And although I’m not
Healed just yet
He won’t make me
Feel as a pet.
Licking, touching,
Kisses, more.
All the control
You broke my core,
And even still
You’re not yet gone.
Behind my back
You have not won.
I will fight you
Until I lose
Or until you drown
In your own booze,
For I am determined
And you, I’m not sure.
All I know is that
This is war.
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139,225 Literary Works • 672,515 Reviews
"A great poem for people over the age of maturity and for people that kind of like dark poems like this. This poem puts me right into the scene, just watching this all play out, I really like the theme of this poem and hope you keep on writing, Write what you like, don't let peoples words get in the way" -EmeraldLinks
Little story for you before I start the review - it doesn't have some relevance don't worry. The song 'This is War' by Sick Puppies was actually playing on my mp3 player, which is kinda the reason I click on this poem while searching through the green room. End story!
Moving swiftly on, your opening lines killed me:
It set up the dark yet sarcastic tone throughout this poem.
These lines here:
I found were in fact the most disturbing. It perfectly captures the harshness and bitterness this type of relationship brings. And it made me shiver. I think the line 'Lucking, touching' actually made me feel extremely scared for yourself. I hope you won this war.
To sum up, I loved how you tackled this subject matter. You were dark and gritty but there was still an underline tone of humour which was hidden in this piece. Great job!
Happy writing!
Hey! XD
The strongest two lines of this piece are the opening ones:
'A whore, you called me,
A whore, I am.'
I think this shows something quite deeply profound a psychological impact words and actions can have on people if they are too negative.
'Or until you drown
In your own booze,'
I also really love these lines because they are dark and brooding.
You have a great piece here. What inspired you to write it?
Keep writing.
~BSF
I'm glad you liked it! I was inspired to write it when my abusive ex boyfriend tried to make me dangerously suicidal after I left him by making up sexual stories about me and telling them to all our mutual friends. My friend (referred to as brother) eventually made him regret opening his mouth about me, though. Thanks for the review, I appreciate it
That is an awful thing to have happen to anyone. But I am glad you have created a piece of art from it.
It's very brave.