12+ Violence

Life of a Teen

Acting only teaches pain

Acceptance is none at best.

Approval never happens here

But pride surfaces less.

Survival is the only game

And yet, no one plays the same.

Some, to play, feel blessed.

.

Who she truly is

Do you even know?

Fitting in can kill true colors

When they’re never shown.

She sits at home and cries each night

And with herself, she always fights.

Her own face, she wants to own.

.

Losing yourself to please others

If nothing short of theft.

Theft of their identity

And theft of hers, what’s left?

Who is she inside her soul?

Lost inside, it’s black as coal

Her hopes are on the cliff.

.

Acting is her daily routine

Accepting the pain that aches.

Approval for her new face

And pride for the smile she fakes.

Surviving guilt from screaming voices

In her head, taunting choices

Vexing her, it’s what she takes.

.

Who she truly is

She isn’t even sure.

No longer their extension

Yet, natural isn’t pure.

Never sure where to go

Or who to trust, friend or foe

Good and evil have their lures.

.

Damaged is what they call her

Feelings, they have no regards.

Doesn’t anyone see that

Life is already too hard?

Pushed in corner, she’ll weep

Knowing no longer how to sleep.

To end it, she needs only a shard.

.

Society believes it understands

Yet even she cannot.

Abuse and bullying keep her lame

Always leaving her distraught.

She knows deep down it’s here

And remains mute from fear

Yet informing of what she sought.

Comments & reviews · 10
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You capture the pain and exclusion of a teenager very well. It's relatable. I think around this time you're just trying to figure out who you are which is sometimes difficult in a world that's telling you who to be. I like this poem. I felt like it was personal to you and that's something special :)

I find it hard to describe it as anything other than pathetic, but I loved this; I use pathetic in it's original meaning, "makes me cry." I'm strange like that. :-)
I think you symbolize perfectly the emotion your average teen (thankfully methinks not me) feels, and although it is a slightly worn subject the prose of this piece makes it beautiful.
"Losing yourself to please others
Is nothing short of theft. "
My favorite lines. One of my biggest annoyances is peer pressure. I don't suffer from it, and in fact do the opposite of the norm most of the time. It also reminds me slightly of the communist manifesto; "Property is theft." and it shares the large meaning in so few words.
Huzzah,
Take That You Fiend!

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NiallGreen495
Comment

Hey again!
I love also how it shows that we can show to people in the world that we are ok but on the inside, most teenagers are hurt and are crying out in silence.

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NiallGreen495
Review

This is great!
As an older teenager, I can feel how this is written and I can feel the words in the poem. It's such a personal poem and I think a lot can relate to this. Many teenagers can feel like this, feeling lost and not welcome as a person and wanting to be loved and noticed. I love it shows the universal thoughts from adults as to how we can be damaged but they don't want to put a name to it, just call us damaged.
This is really deep and I think a lot of people can relate.

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BlackBunny1998
Comment

This is a dramatic, yet deep poem in my opinion. I can see how this poem can relate to society. It's like how one shows that he or she is okay on the outside, but on the inside, that's the exact opposite. But again, it's a very good poem and keep up the good work :)

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GreenLight24
Comment

This is awesome. I feel like u really captured the essence of what it is to be an adolescent in today's very confusing world. Nice job! ;)

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Renard
Review
Renard wrote a review · Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:35 pm

Hey! XD

Well this was very dramatic.
When I was reading the description I was thinking that this would be very heartfelt and open. And it was, you didn't disappoint. :)

'Who she truly is

She isn’t even sure.

No longer their extension

Yet, natural isn’t pure.

Never sure where to go

Or who to trust, friend or foe

Good and evil have their lures.' I think you're tapping into something here with the way you word your observations about the different genders and their behaviours. have you spent a lot of time watching people?

I love it when people write from experience because you can totally tell and it carries better. :)

'Vexing her, it’s what...' - Also, you've used some quite archaic language here which suggests the timelessness of the piece.

Great work of contrasts here.

Very impressive. Well done. :)

User avatar
Ang920
Comment

Hey joallover! Ang920 here to give a review.

This is really good. It's so hard to be yourself in a world that tells you how to look, think, and act. Trust me I know.
I especially like this line:

Acting is her daily routine

Accepting the pain that aches.

Approval for her new face

And pride for the smile she fakes.

Surviving guilt from screaming voices

In her head, taunting choices

Vexing her, it’s what she takes.

This line shows how not being yourself will only make you miserable.
Over all excellent writing! I really enjoyed it, and can't wait to read more of what you write

Happy Writing :)
-Ang920

User avatar
Sunshine1113
Review

Sunshine here to review....

Wow, that's deep. I unfortunately relate to this in wayy to many ways. This line really hit me:

Losing yourself to please others
If nothing short of theft.
Theft of their identity
And theft of hers, what’s left?
Who is she inside her soul?
Lost inside, it’s black as coal
Her hopes are on the cliff.

I don't have any nitpicks other than could you just add commas at the end of the stanzas without punctuation? Other than that wonderful job! And welcome to YWS! :) you seem like an awesome person and a great writer. Hit me up sometime :)



Perfection is lots of little things done well.
— Marco Pierre White