There’s something to a man
When he falls and gets back up,
Through thick and thin and
Faces all that has him stuck.
.
Every man has their weaknesses.
Superman's kryptonite, if you will.
Even 'he' has a fragile spot,
Though it doesn't always kill.
.
The he that I speak of
Just so happens to be super.
He's at the climax of his movie
And proving to be a trooper.
.
He was shown as a human,
As typical as all others,
Which is the worst of all weaknesses,
Above all crashes or smothers,
.
But what else can be done
To test his super abilities
Than to crash his human side,
A mask of instabilities.
.
On that one frightful day
His heroism was shown.
In a moment’s time
He began an adventure of his own -
.
As gravity tried, in one foul swoop
My hero nearly lost it all.
There's something to say about a man
Who lost something in a fall.
.
The thing that proves a hero
Is the power to consistently thrive.
To know the love and support they have
And swallow every drop of life.
.
And such he does,
My hero, to date.
He does little better
Than wrestle with fate,
.
And there’s one more thing
I have to say...
I love you, poppy,
Have a Merry Christmas day.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
So I really like this, it is such a great story. You really expressed yourself well overall, I like that you used simple phrases. I like how you told your story and how real it is. I like that throughout the whole poem, you kept coming back to an idea; "Just so happens to be super, To test his super abilities, My hero nearly lost it all, My hero, to date." you really tell how strong he is. Through everything, he is still a superhero. This is really touching, it is well written, easy to read, interesting, and the flow is good. Keep on writing, I look forward to reading more of your work.
Hey this is my review...
A very beautiful and touching poem, its simple not too complex which makes it very easy to understand and relate to. I am impressed that you kept a rhyming pattern throughout the whole poem, it really helped set the tone and also gave it a nice flow to the poem.
I like how you kept to the hero theme, it brought out your feelings perfectly... it is clear you how much you love and look up to the person this poem is addressed to. My favorite stanza was :
" On that one frightful day
His heroism was shown.
In a moment’s time
He began an adventure of his own"
This was a turning point in the poem, it was when it all started adding up and make sense, how a simple man injured or weak can be a hero. This stanza also reminded me of my grandfather
Brilliant work. Looking forward to reading more.
~RS.
Wow, this is so healing, so touching! I just came back from a trip to my own grandfather, who is currently showing what a trooper he as the cancer eats away at his body... this poem came at the perfect time for me. It expresses deep feelings that I wish I could have spoken to him, and really ignites the soul in its own quiet way.
As far as improving, I would leave it just the way it is, pretty much. I suppose there are a few parts that could be bettered-- "As gravity tried, in one foul swoop" could be better worded, perhaps. The reader can easily figure out what gravity is trying to do, but you could clarify to make it less confusing, using a word like "attacked" instead of tried, for example.
Also, on the part that begins with "The thing that proves a hero" perhaps there is a better rhyme for "thrive" than "life"... for instance "alive." Also, the ending clarification is not really needed.
Overall though, this is beautiful, a rare delight. It ripples with poignancy. I love the part about human weakness and superman, it flows really well. I love the "mask of instabilities" metaphor... so much like my own grandpoppy. I love the name. I love how deep yet simple it is. Thanks for this wonderful gift! Peace be with you.
-Cocoon Head