This is a letter of the truest intent
To those who thought they had it all.
Who pushed and shoved and never gave up
To beat and yell and be my downfall.
.
I thought you should know that you failed.
When tearing me down, you made me stronger.
You took a marker and blacked out my soul,
Only for it to change to my favourite colour.
.
I remember a time, being small and afraid,
Seeing the approach became a nightmare.
Hearing that my bruised, broken body was too shrivelled for love
Was not a burden I had to bare.
.
Some would walk away without a hint of grief,
I then would know the truth.
Something about me, then and now
Had to change and find a use.
.
Since then, I’ve fought for the experience
Of knowing love, the way it should be.
I found a home, a family, though let me say,
It was anything but simple or easy.
.
I had to accept your lack of power
In order to overcome my fears.
My Time of Cowardice is now, since, done.
It’s the Age of Courage to last for years.
.
So now, my life is totally mine,
I can fruitfully venture past GO.
So thanks to all who possessed my life
For the things that I finally know.
.
For those times that you taunted, I found love elsewhere.
When you left me out, I found a place of my own.
You all thought that you got away with all that you’ve done to me.
You’re terribly mistaken,
I let you all go.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
I like how raw the release of emotion is here. You don't waste time "fluffing up" the substance of what you're expressing, which allows it to be clear and impactful. Although this is a good thing in some respects, it also narrows down what you already have, making this less like poetry and more like a diary entry that rhymes. Maybe put in some figurative language and symbolism to give it a bit more imagery for the reader. I really like how you didn't go with the typical ABAB rhyme scheme I thought it would be, there's way too much of that in poetry from what I've seen; your rhyming is enough to help the piece flow without making it sound too showy, and I like that it adds to the effect without distracting from the purpose.
I love this. It feels resonant to me, although I'm not yet in the stage where I can let things go. This poem flows rather smoothly, although some spots could go better.
Example:
Things are much different from then till now,
"No longer am I sad, small and insecure.
I have new eyes, a new brain, though two left feet,
My upgrades have left little to obscure."
Not sure what it is about this part, I just don't think it flows entirely well. It helps to read your poems out loud after you're done to make sure it is entirely rhythmic. Al in all, I think this is a good poem, with a strong meaning that a lot of people can identify with.
Ps~ I am by no means a professional poet ^^"
Joelsweet