Depression is a soulless monster,
That sends you crumbling to your knees,
Begging for mercy, to just let you be,
It grasps you tightly,
It’s fangs sinking into the pit of your stomach,
The sides of your nearly bursting heart,
And rips savagely until their nothing left,
Depression drags you into its cave,
Away from outsiders that may help,
Pulls you deeper and deeper into the black abyss
The weeping misery trickles along you leading the monster to its home,
Your gaping mouth,
the screams you shout,
Will never be seen nor heard,
You may try to escape ,
But that would be a waste,
For haven’t you notice the monster tis the cat,
You the fragile mouse,
In the endless game for eternity,
Racing across the fiery pits of....
Hell.
You may think that you have won the game,
You may feel like it is the monster to blame,
But in reality you have never left,
The hidden cave like all the rest,
Foolish girl haven’t you’ve known,
This is the punishment for the broken and lost,
The crippled and depressed,
To find a shred of happiness in this Horrid place,
And have it destroyed with just a simple glaze,
So run little mouse through this maze the monster has created,
For every turn you ever go,
Every joy you ever feel,
Is just your mind disguising the monster in wake,
Ready to retake it’s place….
In its most favorite place to ambush-
Your oh so fragile scarred heart hiding in the cage you have so diligently built..
Keep it safe so I may feast upon it’s flesh once again,
And bring you back into these deadly sins,
For my dear I ALWAYS win
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,840 Reviews
Hi my name is Memory and I will be reviewing your poem this fine evening!
I'd like to say that the way that you had the depression talk about itself made me feel like i was standing there listening to it talk.
I feel like this could be labled under Horror as well because it's got the fright factor to it. Basically you're telling the readers that depression uses your insecurities against you.
This poem is probably the best thing that includes a mental disorder that I have ever read that isnt biased.
Keep up the great work
~Memory
Thanks, I was trying to just show a disorder without any stereotypes linked with it. Thanks again for reading it.
Hello Mate! What a lovely poem we have here! I love how you used the person-the mouse is being chased by depression-the cat- in this poem. Also I love the imagery you use like fragile scarred heart and how you perfectly describe depression as the monster that puts you to your needs as you beg in mercy to let it go.
I sadly can't wrote like amazing poem like this one but I'm sure the next person who reads this will be like "this poem gives off a great meaning or theme at the end" and hopefully, that's what they will think (that's just me)..
Anyway, I hope you continue writing like you do with poems or stories.
OneThousandDrums
Well this is quite a poem. Way better than the Deafen Ears poem. This one has a far much more meaning, and yes, I love it way way better. This is very important meaning. Depression is everything and everywhere. Amazing AAMAZING!!! Simply splendid one.
Only a little problem.
For haven’t you notice the monster tis the cat,
This is wrong, The monster tis the cat? Never mind.
Nice poem though, keep writing, and stay awesome just the way you are, as you.
~~Tay01.
im confused what was wrong with that sentence?
I love it! You have described depression in so many ways and they are all relevant and very creative. I don't really have many nitpicks, I don't have any at all in fact.
There is one thing which I would like to mention, which is this: For haven’t you notice the monster tis the cat. I like your writing style, it's all mystical and like a fantasy piece. I just wanted to say that 'tis' means 'it is' which doesn't make sense in this line. But I don't want you to change it because I love your fantasy style of writing. If people tell you to change it, just don't! I mean, lots of famous authors have been ridiculed about their style, Shakespeare wrote words which no one could understand and now they are used everyday. I just wanted to say that. It's a great poem, keep writing!
Whoa never knew about that
and thanks it means a lot to hear you liked this.
Holy cow!! This was awesome! your an amazing writer. Your imagery was intense like calling depression a soulless monster it was really good and reminds me of what depression feels like. I also liked how you ended it, although I think you can get out of depression after awhile and find a safe place your ending was still great. I loved how you used really good word choice.
Only question I have is why would he bring you back to these deadly sins? I didn't know being sad was a sin? or was it more figuretive language? other than that really liked your poem
I find this poem to be very deep. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and speaking from personal experience, this is an excellent way to express how depression feels. Saying depression is a soulless monster is a beautiful metaphor and was a great way to begin the poem. In fact, you had a powerful ending as well. Overall, it was a very emotional and expressive piece that made me feel as if I were there myself, crumbling to my knees and begging for mercy from this soulless monster. It was very figurative and well written.Well done!
thanks it means a lot
Thanks for writing it! I really enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of your works