My Sweetheart
You have made me so proud,
You have grown to be a beautiful women,
And a kind hearted soul.
My baby girl your were the greatest moments in my life.
I remember the day we brought you home,
Countless apologies for bruised doctors,
No one was ever allowed near you but your daddy and I,
You were my little miricle, sent by God.
And never did my love cease,
no matter how many mysteries I cleaned up
I remember your beaming face,
Never before have I witness such a beaming child,
Nor have I met such an adorable escape artist.
You and I always played in our wild flowers,
Watching the butterflies take flight
I remember the day my angel lost her wings,
How I wanted to charge to your aid, your knight in armor,
I know you never knew but every tear you shed I shed two,
Every scar inflicted upon you, lashing came for me,
My little girl, I never understood how these little demons could attack you.
I remember the day we both lost a friend,
Carrying the burden of that folded flag gave off,
You lost a brilliant father, I my everything,
Yet together somehow we came out stronger than before.
I remember it all,
The heartbreaks and tears,
The joys of happiness,
The spontaneous giggles,
And everything in between.
My angel,
You will make a wonderful mother,
My advice to you,
Take the good days with the bads,
And always stay strong.
To my baby girl, from a prideful mother.
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140,692 Literary Works • 673,622 Reviews
Did you miss me? That's right! It's your favourite co-conspiracy theorist! Anyways, that's not what I'm here to talk about today. Today, I'm here to talk about this positively beautiful piece of writing. I haven't seen something so deep and yet not very dark on YWS in a long time. (Maybe even never.) I loved the pure, raw emotion that was put into this. I love how it was conveyed, how it all flowed together... I just really loved this piece! My only word of advice is this:
"I remember your beaming face,
Never before have I witness such a beaming child,"
You said beaming twice here. It sort of took away from the novelty effect you were conveying. I'd recommend writing it something like this:
"I remember your radiant face,
Never before have I witnessed such a beaming child,"
(Also, you forgot to add the "ed" on witnessed, so I did it for you. You're welcome.)
Hope to read more out of you in the future! (And see more theories come to life!)
-Char
Thanks :3
Wow! Just wow! This poem is an incredibly deep-seated piece of nostalgia. It is in a sort of letter-format from a proud mother to her beloved daughter. The poem journeys it way from those nervous moments in the hospital to the point of losing a loved one to realising the pride and honour a parent feels when they see their children grow, know and learn.
The poem is a beautiful rendition straight from the heart and stands out as a deeply-emotional and touching poem in the midst of an ocean of comedies.
You could maybe improve your grammar and spelling skills, but otherwise I'm all praise for this beautiful piece of poetry! I rate it, a 4/5.
Thanks for sharing it!
Please do follow me and check out my poems - "Just a Spark" and "What is Life?"
I'll follow you too!
You rock, please write s'more!
~ SilverKnight007
all be glad to
Wow! Just wow! This poem is an incredibly deep-seated piece of nostalgia. It is in a sort of letter-format from a proud mother to her beloved daughter. The poem journeys it way from those nervous moments in the hospital to the point of losing a loved one to realising the pride and honour a parent feels when they see their children grow, know and learn.
The poem is a beautiful rendition straight from the heart and stands out as a deeply-emotional and touching poem in the midst of an ocean of comedies.
You could maybe improve your grammar and spelling skills, but otherwise I'm all praise for this beautiful piece of poetry! I rate it, a 4/5.
Thanks for sharing it!
Please do follow me and check out my poems - "Just a Spark" and "What is Life?"
I'll follow you too!
You rock, please write s'more!
~ SilverKnight007
This was cool, not sure if it could be considered a poem though it read more like a thoughtful letter. It was good anyway you could trim it a little to make it more poetic. It is a very personal poem. I;m not sure how people will receive? it sounds like it was made just for one person.
but again it's good.