Hopeless
Loveless
Senseless
Darkness
A Hopeless mind, my heart feels Loveless,
A Senseless body being taken to Darkness.
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139,534 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
Wow! Just wow! This is an amazing poem that is so deep and vulnerable. I couldn't help but stumble upon it
. It's bee a long time since I have see your work and I can tell you right now that I have been missing out. You are such an amazing author and this really shows the depth and width of your writing abilities.
.
I love this poem so much because you have found a way to take four simple words as make or into a poem. You were able to paint a picture. Now while you have painted a picture you have left room to make this picture the reader own. This poem is flexible and mold able for the readers. I love poems like this because I can make it my own, but it's your piece.
You have such an amazing talent and t has really grow since you have started. Thank you so much for the poem it was certainly my pleasure to read
Keep writing
With much love,
Annaclare
Nice. I'm not going to go into details because really I can't, and anything I say will just be for the sake of writing more. But I like what you've done, making something short become powerful. It's powerful because it's relatable and I've felt this way many times, so kudos on it. I enjoyed it.
Yours in ink,
TS.
Hi There,
I really liked this poem, despite its length you really conveyed the idea of how Senseless hope can really be. I love the use of repetition of ideas, it conveys your ideas perfectly. My only advice in the future is to maybe write a bit more.
I loved this!
The dark tone set is carried throughout and the one word lines really gave an effect that made the reader think. Its so short but posses detail however still allows the reader to create their own imagery for the emotions expressed. I also really like the repetition of words. Very well written
Very well written!
Hey donizback. I liked this poem and I thought it was rather clever. I have a question though, maybe make it a bit longer. Hehehe, I liked it, it was kind of dark and saddening and it conveyed I strong feeling even though it wasn't very long. It's very cool. I hope to read more!
~WW
It's good, but I'd like it to be maybe two or three times as long. Otherwise, it just feels like a statement of what anybody could be feeling right now without any reason why or any justification for such despair. I really think you need to explain this more.
Tyburn poems can't be any longer than this. Thanks!
Actually, I just saw the classification on your wall; I didn't know! It's good though.
Thanks again. It's just something new I tried this time, a little different.
Your poem is short, but it compelled me to think deeply about it. You set a dark tone and I can – to an extent – relate to the feelings you have conveyed. From it, I gather that the speaker has been through rough times and find themselves in a downward spiral, perhaps, because they are not strong enough to hold on. Moreover, the speaker appears to have a negative image of themselves by saying “loveless” or “hopeless”. Why they think that, is open to interpretation and that’s what I liked – you left the story to the reader’s imagination. I loved it. Well done, and keep writing!
Awesome! I love it!
*likes*
Hey, Don! Nice poem you got here.
But, it would be nice if you thought about that.
I love the shortness of this poem, yet you still added enough detail that it's fine that it is short. You put four words together and made a poem out of it. Wonderful!
Still, you could add more to it. A shorter poem like this one could always do for a little more depth. You can go further in depth and really impress people of what you can change a few words into.. I may be wrong though, people always have their own opinions.
I really like the rhyme at the end of this poem,
What a beautiful idea of rhyme here, I didn't expect there to be a rhyme in here at all.
Great job on transforming this into a really interesting yet meaningful poem! It makes me want to read more of your poems you've published. I also didn't find any errors; no misspelled words, correct grammar, etc. Again, a small, simple poem can be stretched out and completely changed into something new.
Good job, @donizback!
~Sunset101
A Tyburn poem can't be any longer than this
Thanks for the review.
You're welcome. And I think that the shortness of this poem is fine.
Yes!!!!!!!! Right before my very eyes is something that is not long-winded and dragging. Finally my eyes behold something that is short, sweet, and to the point. Thank you!!!!
*calmed myself down* Okay, this is a good poem. I can tell that the mood is dark and gloomy and 'hopeless', if you know what I mean, but I think you did a good job. I liked how you explained the four words in the beginning.
Never give up on your writing. Good luck!!!!!!
---fantasydragon01. (you can call me "fanta" for short.)
Its amazing how something so short can be so great.