Young Writers Society

*cough cough*
It’s hard to believe that this is coming from you. I mean, you did admit that you didn’t like romance. xD

On a serious note, it’s a romantic poem, and I can feel that the speaker is struggling to confess to their love interest. Their feelings sound genuine and sincere – it’s actually very sweet/cute!

I don’t know much about poetry. Hence, I’ll mention just one technical aspect I thought you could improve in.

I felt that the two lines below didn’t flow (that rhymes!). This could be because the rest of your poem has a consistent – and somewhat clear – rhyming scheme.

My trust on you is so much strong,
I live my life with just one hope.

I start my day with you in my head,
You are there in my heart as well.

Love has driven me, you and everyone from who we used to be to someone who we never knew we could ever be. And being without that one person and yet loving him really changes the innocient self constantly into a stronger one. I'ld suggest you to cover all the aspects of the topic you are breaching.
But the rest, it's an awesome poem, a poem that is going to be in my head throughout the day. Keep it up dear....

Hey! Just a review:
Beautiful ..what else is there to say? The use of language and how it flowed in some places was well thought through.
I will not pick out any small details as many of the amazing reviewers bellow me have. But I am a fan of poetry and especially romance so one suggestion could be if you would be able to write a little bit of a series of poems all connected in some way,its just that I would love to see that happening considering how amazing your writing is ,maybe adding a bit of a different aspect to the typical love scenarios?
Also good job on the punctuation and stuff like that , I bet you it took some extensive proof reading huh.
But anyway
Thank you for this amazing piece of work and I really hope to see more from you.
I hope you have a really nice day.

I find this poem sweet and romantic but there were some lines that made me confuse like:

"A thought about you makes my day
Makes me thank God in this way"

I think its better if you change it to:

"I thought about you, made my day
I thank God for his own way"

P.s~ it depends on you if you want to change but its just my suggestion because the tone of the poem is off balance and also the rhyming on the end.

There is more but you will know which it is when you reread this poem I know you can do it. Overall the poem is actually good I enjoy reading it.

hi donizback,
it has been days since i reviewed your work. so lets directly jump to the nitpick-

"My trust on you is so much strong,
I live my life with just one hope."- at first i got an impression that you were trying to rhyme it but the rhythm breaks here and in some other lines. if you intend to write a lyric make it throughout or not at all .
"I didn't get to see you even once,
But I dream of you since I was young."- if you have not seem her yet how can one be so madly in love? is that the one in your imagination , or may be an old known friend whom you have spoken to but never seen. or is it something spiritual? let me know this answer as i will be looking forward to your reply
"A thought about you makes my day.
Makes me thank God in this way."- here i notice some force rhyming , as you manipulate the words to make it a rhyme and somewhere the original sense was struck.
"Your smile, although it is unseen,
Is enough to make me forget the seen."- again force rhyme. you may try " you pull me back from any lowly sin."
hey i think i was being a bit rude, actually i am quite excited about the review day studff. hope you pardon me for being harsh
keep writing,
Rituparna

Hey donizback. Autumns here with my thoughts -

First off, some nitpicks:

Living my life isn't the same,
All I know is just your name!

My trust on you is so much strong,
I live my life with just one hope.

Will meet you one day is what I say,
Seeing you around is all I pray.

I didn't get to see you even once,
But I dream of you since I was young.

A thought about you makes my day.
Makes me thank God in this way.

Hi, there!

This was a nice poem - however, the ryhming wasn't consistent, and I think that's what threw me off.

You have some of the same rhyming words used in some places, and in others you have none, and in yet others you have nice, solid rhymes. Just fixing this (or putting it in your new poem) would make it nice. Also, not all poems have to rhyme! I honestly think this poem would have been way better off if not rhymed.

Also, the "language" you could say doesn't seem right. There are some words that Don't need to be there, and some that need more words in them. But, you mentioned you haven't gone back and edited yet, so I won't go deep with that thought.

Overall, this was a good read! Keep writing,

~ EternalRain

Great poem. I liked the creativeness of the false rhymes. Some suggestions: a few times throughout your poem you rhyme with the same word. For instance:

"My life is so much dependent on you,

I wonder what I'd do without you."

Consider changing "you" to something else on one of the phrases. The second line could be "A day away I couldn't get through" or something similar. Also in the phrase "My life is so much dependent on you" you should probably remove "much." Same for "My trust in you is so much strong".

Very creative! With a few tweaks this could be a beautiful poem.