BEAUTIFUL IMPERFECTIONS
Speak to my soul in a blaze of flaws;
a shining glory of twisted possibilities,
tears and shattered glass - fissures in a skyscraper.
Find me in a ring road of tortured concrete:
a broken circle, in a Mecca of crippled steel pylons
and soaring, fused crystal sculptures.
Set my feet on the right path: where
smoking asphalt twists the air into
..........beautiful,
............toxic,
..........ethereal,
............eidolans;
where a muddy yellow moon sends shivers of
pure radiance into a darkened warehouse,
through elegantly broken window panes.
Give me a bolt of glory to pour into a vagrants sleeping, snarled face;
.....a pure white flame to turn a broken bottle into a beacon;
..........a ray of worldly, untarnished hope to turn a shelter into a corner of heaven.
Give me a tune to set a council estate spinning;
.....shake the hard, high men in their hard, high towers;
..........rock the gates of heaven on their human foundations.
Give me a human arrow to shoot an angel,
.....a human bomb to kill a world,
..........a human spear to kill a god.
Give me a human hand to save a life,
.....a human heart to make the choice,
..........a human character to laugh at the laws that bind it.
Give me a human life: an onrushing death-train of
precluded choices, impossible dreams, and burnt out wishes.
Give me a human life to burn brighter than any spirit,
.....a mortal existence to outlast any deity,
..........a flicker to outshine any eternity.
Give me you, and give me me.
Give me us, and what we are.
Give me what we have to be, and what we always will be.
Give us ourselves;
..give us humanity;
....give us our beautiful, perfect,
imperfection.
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Canary word: Present
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139,468 Literary Works • 672,573 Reviews
Wow...maybe a little bit of touching up here and there...but otherwise there were some beautiful stanzas. Way to use imaginative metaphorical verses to get the point across. Well done.
I didn't like the first stanza so much...I'm not sure why. It didn't flow so well for me. But after that it was just...wow.
I mean, it was really, REALLY good. Like everyone else, my favorite part was:
Give me a tune to set a council estate spinning;
.....shake the hard, high men in their hard, high towers;
..........rock the gates of heaven on their human foundations.
Give me a human arrow to shoot an angel,
.....a human bomb to kill a world,
..........a human spear to kill a god.
Give me a human hand to save a life,
.....a human heart to make the choice,
..........a human character to laugh at the laws that bind it.
Great job. :thumb:
That was terrific. Really, it was. :thumb:
I can't pick a favourite part because.. well, I'd rather not seperate awesome lines from awesome-er ones. Hah.
In case that my response was a tad difficult to understand, I love it!
=D> Fabulous work, darhling.
Why can I never write anything constructive...*sulks*
".....shake the hard, high men in their hard, high towers;
..........rock the gates of heaven on their human foundations.
Give me a human arrow to shoot an angel,
.....a human bomb to kill a world,
..........a human spear to kill a god.
Give me a human hand to save a life,
.....a human heart to make the choice,
..........a human character to laugh at the laws that bind it."
I thought this was excellent! Perfectly thought and well written.
Whoa. Amazing poem. I-I have no criticism. Wow.
Hah.
much obliged to ya.
Thanks, silver
Sorry about all the dots - I couldn't get the spacing to work properly otherwise.
Give me a human arrow to shoot an angel,
.....a human bomb to kill a world,
..........a human spear to kill a god.
Give me a human hand to save a life,
.....a human heart to make the choice,
..........a human character to laugh at the laws that bind it.
THAT was the BEST PART!
This was a good poem... a bit long, which took me a while to read... but beautiful nonetheless... Yeah, I can't really say anything, although there were several words I had to look up on dictionary.com... such as
us
and
give