Young Writers Society

Hello, King here, for a hopefully helpful review for you.
So, first of all, the tittle was kind of confusing for me, and I thought this work will be for something else. I did not expect it to be from a point of view, which is not human's.
But in the end, this makes the work of yours even more interesting and unique for me.
I want to say what I like about this work, as a start. I like this work, because it is really realistic and heart breaking. I have felt that, and many of us, too. So we can relate to this, in one way or another. I was confused what are we talking about but somewhere around the middle, i started to realize we are talking about something really sad and tragic. Oh, yes, before I forget, I want to say that I love the font of your work. (loves the uniqueness, in general)



Now,so the negative-filled part. I hope I am not too harsh here, but it is still needed, so we can correct this work and make it stand out every brighter.

Oh my Human.

Please don't cry.

Come on we can play catch?
Or cuddle?
Or tell me about your day?
Who was that human you want me to meet?

They seem nice.

Come on let's go on a run.

Human I'am here!

Human is this normal?
Human?
Please don't cry.
We can play catch or take a walk.
I love you my human.

Oh, man. This poem broke my heart into a million pieces, and I am so, very sorry for your loss.

With that, here's my review.

First off, the perspective you chose to write the poem from is very unique. It really hits home with the audience, especially after your poem's initial description. Starting off with: "My human" helps captivate the bond between the speaker and her owner. Having the dog asks questions and having it make observations helps build tension in the poem- great job.

Personally, I agree with the review below. You make it a point to emphasize that the speaker is a dog, but you might want to replace "human" with another, variation of the endearing word.

Besides that, I have no other suggestions. The tone is loving and caring, which provides a great contrast to the depressing, tense mood it inevitably creates. The choppy, staccatto-like diction and syntax really bring life to your canine speaker. Finally, your inclusion of "Max"'s burial is ingenious; it pulls at the heartstrings while providing context to the poem's setting.

Ash, from my heart to yours, I hope you find peace and closure. She's in a better place

Stay strong, and keep writing.

Hello, sunshine!
I'm going to first talk about your strong points in this poem.
I loved your particular use of certain words to set up the tone. Though I usually advise against using simple, general words (sad, happy, eat, drink), it seemed to work perfectly with the perspective you took. It contributed a lot to the childishness/innocence from the dog.
This poem must mean a lot to you. I'm so sorry that Lacey passed away. Writing about her is a wonderful way to remember her! I can see the passion and dedication you put into the piece, and writing out your emotions is a wonderful thing!
In terms of the weaker points in the poem, like other reviewers, the repetition of "human" felt excessive. Sometimes, repetition works, but, in this case, it feels... annoying. (I don't mean to sound so harsh, but I can't find a good enough euphemism for annoying!!) I mean, I can see how you might have included the repetition due to the idea that dogs constantly nag you, and their thoughts would obviously be repetitive. But, maybe, tone it down on the "human".

Have a wonderful day! Stay strong! You'll be okay!

Not gonna lie, I thought this was gonna be about Doctor Who when I first read the title. XD

Hey, ash! cleverclogs here representing Team Batman on this fine Review Day! Let's get started, shall we?

My cat had a near-death experience a few days ago. He made a miraculous rebound, but we were seriously calling up the in-home euthanasia people because we thought it was the end. So I definitely know the fear of what it's like to be about to lose a pet, although I'm glad I didn't find out what it was actually like. However, from my experience with this sort of thing, this poem was definitely really emotional. I think that the dog's innocence was what got to me- the fact that she was still offering to walk and play, even though she knew something was wrong. The thing that would've killed me the most if we had put my cat to sleep would be that he would have been completely trusting, right up until we killed him. This poem captured that really well, so good job. Of course, this wouldn't be a review without feedback, so here goes:

I do agree with Aley that I think this poem dragged on a little bit. It comes off as a bit rambly and long-winded, because the dog keeps repeating herself without there being any structure to the poem. I think this poem could benefit from putting lines into stanzas. Then it could look more organized to the reader's eye, and not seem as rambly. It's amazing the things image can do to a reader. Poems in stanzas are easier to read, just like writing in paragraphs is easier to read than huge walls of text.

I think that the part with the questions came across as a little forced. I could tell that they were designed to tell the reader what was happening, instead of just being the dog's naturally occurring thoughts. I'm not sure how to tell you how to fix that. Maybe try phrasing it differently? Like instead questions, statements. Maybe trust play around until you find what works best.

I love how the dog keeps calling the person human. It's very endearing, and also very sad. Also, just... the innocence and trust of it kills me. I'm one of those people who will just sit around when people in movies die, but the second a cat or dog dies, I'm sobbing like there's no tomorrow. Add that little quirk to being a fan of Warrior Cats, and I'm drowning in tears. XD So yeah, this poem really gets to me. The emotion is very well done.

Overall, really good job with the emotion! I think it could use a bit of organization, though. Keep up the good work!

Hey, HAPPY REVIEW DAY!

This is a really touching poem by the end of it. I really love the perspective you chose to write from and I think that it is what's really making this poem super strong. If you had it in the girl's point of view or the owner's point of view, I think it would have been a much weaker poem given the way that you capitalized it and had the punctuation. It's so emotional at the end that it needs the structure you chose though, so I'm glad of that.

I would like to say that the beginning of it was a little slow. If you focused more on the second half of it, and erased some of the top part, then you could really improve the connectivity at the beginning. For instance, if you knocked it down to just...

My human.
Please don't cry.
I'm here.
Come on let's go on a run.
Why are you crying?
I love you!
Is it because I had an accident?
I'm sorry!

I really liked this. It is very sad and I am sorry for your loss. This makes me feel very emotional for you. I did like it.

This is beautiful! It almost brought me to tears. In my opinion though, I thing that the line 'Good thing I never pooped there.' takes the sadness away and then the reader is "slammed back into sadness." Overall this is a really great poem and I loved every part of it! Keep writing stuff like this because it is great and beautiful.