“Macy, can you stay in the living room for the next like, I dunno,an hour?” Kailyn asks her girlfriend.Macy looked at the blonde and shrugged.
“Alright,I mean I guess that’s alright.” she answered, “Um. I’ll actually be out by the shed.”
Kailyn smiled,”Fantastic!Thank you!”
She pecked her girlfriend on the cheek, then shooed the tall redhead away. Macy did as she was told and went outside.Kailyn went back into the kitchen.Tying up her long blonde hair, she paced around, looking at the ground.
“What to make, what to make?” She mumbled.She looked at the old wooden shelf, with at least forty cookbooks, jam packed close to each other.Mumbling something, she reached up to grab one, on one of the higher shelves.The book fell onto the floor. Kailyn picked it up and flipped through it, to find a delectable, but simple recipe.Soon enough she found a simple, but delicious cooking idea.
“Garlicky shrimp scampi,” she mused, “Interesting.”
Kailyn read the recipe aloud to herself, and added , “I haven’t used shallots in a long time.Nice.”
Kailyn took a few minutes to gather everything she needed.Quickly she sorted out everything- utensils as well.
Kailyn went outside to the grill, which was on the other side of the house, nowhere near the shed.She lit the grill, and moved aside, while it was preheating.
Using the large bowl she brought with her, she mixed together the following ingredients : butter,olive oil, chives, shallots,salt, pepper,and a hint of paprika. She smiled,then tossed in the shrimp so that it would be coated in this yummy coating. After making sure it was perfect, and the grill finally finished preheating,she lightly oiled the grill grate.Putting the shrimp onto the grate (and sometimes dropping a few into the flames), Kailyn waited with her spatula,and flipped them every so often. Then they were done. Scraping them onto a plate, Kailyn hummed an old folk song from her youth. After turning off the oven, she went back inside, and set the plate down on the kitchen table.
“Ah gosh, I hope she likes this,” Kailyn sighed. In their home, usually Macy enjoyed making lunches and sometimes dinner. Kailyn didn’t really cook much on her on. Especially when she was still a minor, because she lived in a family with servants and professional chefs.So, every time she offered to cook, after running away, Macy would often be by her side.And doing all the “potential injury” stuff.
Kailyn grabbed two smaller plates from the cupboard and served each plate an equal share. With one last shrimp in the bowl, she took it and sampled it.
“Nice,” she said, now grinning.She grabbed two glasses and filled them with each other’s favorite drinks. Macy’s was orange-pineapple juice.While Kailyn’s was cranberry juice.
She put the bottles of juice away, then set down napkins and forks.
Kailyn went out to the shed.And knocked on the door. Macy came out, wiping her apron that had saw dust on it.
“Lunch is ready!” She grinned. Macy looked at her surprised, but happy.
“Oh, you made lunch?” Macy says, winking at her girlfriend. Kailyn grinned, and tugged on her girlfriend’s arm.
“Hold on,” Macy says, pulling off the apron and turning off the saw machine for the day.
Kailyn bobbed up and down, waiting anxiously. After a minute, Macy slipped her hand into Kailyn’s.
Macy said, “Shall we go princess?”
Kailyn jokingly pouted at the nickname, but nodded.They went back into the house, and Macy smelt the air.
“Something smells good,” Macy says, sniffing the air again. Kailyn grinned and pulled her to the kitchen table. Kailyn watched her girlfriend intensely.
“Whoa, this looks so good,” Macy complimented. Kailyn grinned.
Kailyn insisted, “Please try it!”
They both sat down. Kailyn watched Macy without moving, she was waiting for the reaction. Macy slightly noticed this, and nervously took a bite.
“Mmm!” She complimented, after finishing the shrimp, she added, “This is delicious!”
Kailyn grinned,”Really?”
“Yes.Really.” Macy nodded. Kailyn grinned, and also began to eat her food. They both talked and laughed, and enjoyed their lunchtime together.
Afterwards Macy said,”Kailyn, I am now giving you lunch duty.”
“What? Why?” Kailyn gasped.
“Your cooking has drastically gotten better,” Macy compliments, “I’m proud of you.”
Kailyn felt her cheeks get hot,”Thanks.”
Macy got up and gave her girlfriend a hug,”Yeah yeah. Just don’t burn the house down.”
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140,523 Literary Works • 673,296 Reviews
You mixed the tenses a bit and one or two error was seen but it happens.You just need to give it a second look,you see?If we leave that aside,the story is short but full and cute.It shows the main characters being happy with each others.And the whole situation is sweet.Now I am hungry..well not like I was not before reading this but you get the idea? X/D Sweet story,that is all.Go on.
Howdy! This is a cute little story. I did notice some little errors though. Your punctuation was a little off.
1. [ Kailyn felt her cheeks get hot,”Thanks.”
The first quotation mark on the word "thanks" was backwards. This is because you didn't put a space between it and the comma. This happened quite a few other times as well.
2. You mixed up the tenses. Sometimes you said "She says" and sometimes you said "She said". That's mixing up verb tenses and kind of confuses the reader.
3. You didn't put spaces between some of the periods and the first letter of the next sentence in some places.
-Kailyn asks her girlfriend.Macy looked at the blonde and shrugged.-
In between the period after the word "girlfriend", and the word "Marcy", was no space. there should have been.
Oh well. besides that, it was good.
Greetings,
This was a really nice story. Something that is about something so simple as being able to do something nice for someone. The interactions between these two characters is very well done and I can't help but feel that they share a very close bond.
Though this is great, I feel like there is a small lack to the overall feel of it. Why is it that Kailyn is always shooed away from the kitchen? I realize that it's because no one thinks she can cook, but what made them think that? Perhaps some cute anecdotes about a few of her previous cooking attempts will fill out that little bit.
This was well crafted. Good flow and excellent choice of words. I have seen a lot of people use the same word again and again to describe a specific aroma and it ends up losing its charm. By adding a few different words to describe the same thing you really made it seem like the smell of the food was truly something mouth watering.
Thank you for sharing the story. I hope to read more from you.
Happy Writing!
This is a really cute story! However, I do have one suggestion, which isn`t even important , really. But you put a lot of description into how Kailyn cooked the food. Its the biggest paragraph in the whole story, And it kind of distracts from their adorable-couple-ness